Nowadays, internet and television has given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples
The industry revelation made clear differences in the
wourld
so it becomes easy to give Correct your spelling
world
apportunty
for normal Correct your spelling
opportunity
people
to popular one that is
because of internet and television which can have advantages that will discussed
in details.
To start with the positive side, when Change the verb form
be discussed
discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
become familiar they could have a large number of fans who love them and care about them. For instance
, they will give them everything that they want and need. Furthermore
, the popular people
can get lots of money from the
advertising and marketing to the companies. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, the
large and Correct article usage
apply
middle companies
give them some products or money for making ads for them. Add a hyphen
middle-companies
Moreover
, the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
can also
have a
very good Correct article usage
apply
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
between
others who are Change preposition
with
also
familiar for example
actors, singers, musicians, artists, and presenters. So, when they work together the relations between them will be stong
.
In my point of view, Correct your spelling
strong
beeing
famous is something that can help me more in my life. Correct your spelling
being
For example
, I can make a huge business and the fans can help me on
it when they buy from my business or from the ads I makeChange preposition
with
it
.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
, the development of technology in the world has may
positive consequences for Correct your spelling
many
people
and give
them a chance to be Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
knowing
.Wrong verb form
known
Submitted by alhajeer11179 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, as the ideas presented are not well-organized or properly developed. To improve, plan the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, with sentences that are connected and build upon each other coherently.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be clearer and more defined. The introduction should clearly set the stage for the discussion to follow, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the points addressed while offering a final thought or opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points require better support through more detailed explanations, examples, or evidence. To strengthen the argument, include specific and relevant examples that underline the claims made. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete, illustrative examples.
task achievement
The response to the task needs to be more complete, with a better-developed argument that directly addresses the question prompt. The pros and cons of ordinary people becoming famous through the internet and television should be discussed, along with the writer's personal standpoint supported by examples.
task achievement
The ideas need to be clearer and more comprehensive. It's important to develop each point fully and express them in a way that is understandable and convincing. Use topic sentences to introduce the primary concept of each paragraph, and expand on it with supporting details.
task achievement
More relevant and specific examples are necessary to better illustrate the points made. The examples provided should tie directly back to the main argument and help to substantiate the claims. Avoid vague references and strive for clarity and relevance in the examples chosen.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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