In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

It is commonly argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the majority of people tend to acquire more information about the history of their current accommodation, which they
inhabbit
Correct your spelling
inhabit
inhabited
.I strongly believe it relies on several personal reasons which may vary from one person to another, but in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
it can derive from the sense of safety they want to experience in the new place. A key factor
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
finding
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
place
for residing
Change preposition
to reside
show examples
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the rate of people's satisfaction with their home plays a significant role in individual 'selection
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they try to find a new place to spend their lives ,
also
the mass most of the time allocate a lot of budgets for purchasing or renting a house, so the buyers start to earn more information about
for example
the rate of access to public transportation from the house they intend to buy it or the treatments of other
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
about considering the buildings regulation and
consequently
,
this
an exorbitant cost should justify their intended qualities. Apart from that, new occupants can get some essential information from the local shops or can investigate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the past of a building from the former
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
such
as old individuals
hence
they can receive more facts
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
being
Verb problem
become
show examples
familiar with their target area.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
there are multiple compelling reasons for house seekers which
are resulted
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
from their personal preferences
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may relate
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
sense of peace or some beliefs which stem from
peoples'idea
Correct your spelling
peoples idea
.
Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not fully address the second part of the prompt which asks 'How can people research this?'. To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the task are addressed equally. Develop the second part more thoroughly with detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
While a general structure is present, the essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Introduction and conclusion are incomplete or ineffective. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the points, connect your ideas logically, and use linking words effectively. Consider working on a stronger introduction that highlights what will be discussed and a conclusion that summarises the main points and answers the prompt fully.
task achievement
Main points are supported, but more specific examples and details would enhance argument strength. Provide more examples to illustrate your ideas and add depth to the discussion. Make sure examples are directly relevant to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: