IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What is the reason, and what can be done to encourage a positive attitude to learning?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the
school
Use synonyms
 dropout ratio has been increasing tremendously than ever before
due to
Linking Words
 adolescents do not have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in learning.
As a result
Linking Words
, a large number of young generation tend to have less interest in learning at
school
Use synonyms
. There are some causes for
this
Linking Words
 tendency and some possible solutions can be diminished.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some reasons for adolescents have negative attitudes towards learning at
school
Use synonyms
. One of the predominant causes is the
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is not updated.
This
Linking Words
 is because many young people do not want to study in the old curriculum-based of the
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 in the
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
 century,
besides
Linking Words
 they tend to study more coding, programming, and art based on updated curriculums.
For example
Linking Words
, Sri Lanka's youth dropout ratio has been rising because they want to pursue an updated
education
Use synonyms
 syllabus rather than the ancient one. Ergo, the younger generations do not want to pursue the old based on the syllabus. Despite these reasons, some possible solutions can overcome
this
Linking Words
 tendency. One of the pertinent remedies is the
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 and syllabus should be updated based on
this
Linking Words
 generation from the authorities. To clarify, the ruling party should add more science technology, and art
courses
Use synonyms
 to attract positively to avoid leaving students.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Australia
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 was updated including adding more coding and programming
courses
Use synonyms
 to attract pupils to continue and finish high
school
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government conducting a campaign to create awareness of how
education
Use synonyms
 is of the utmost importance.
To conclude
Linking Words
, pupil's
school
Use synonyms
 leaving measurement is increased every day
due to
Linking Words
 the ancient
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 old-fashioned
courses
Use synonyms
 and curriculums.
However
Linking Words
, the authorities should alter the new
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 with more coding and programming
courses
Use synonyms
 as well and they should create awareness of the importance of
education
Use synonyms
, which are the solutions to attract students to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly addresses the question and sets up a structure for your essay. Avoid ambiguity in presenting your thesis statement.
body
Develop each paragraph with a single idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. General statements should be avoided or connected to precise illustrations that support your point.
coherence
Attempt to use varied sentence structures and appropriate linking words to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Work on reducing repetitive sentence starts.
conclusion
Make sure the conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your position in a clear manner. A more robust final paragraph will strengthen the overall essay.
task response
Focus on answering all parts of the question with clear and comprehensive ideas. Extend your answer to encompass all parts of the task, showing the issue's full complexity.
examples
Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support your points and avoid vague or general statements. Examples should be detailed enough to elucidate your arguments but concise so as not to detract from your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: