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Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to suppor

#people #fear #streets #robberies #houses #person #security #suppor
There has been a prevailing belief that robberies often happen outdoors,
while
 at the same time, the danger remains for indoor robberies too. Because of
this
 fact, citizens tend to stay inside to ensure their security. Is hiding from society the best solution? In the subsequent paragraphs, I will provide you with some of my ideas on
this
 topic. First of all, it is in human nature to protect ourselves and the ones close to us, so because of
this
 primal feeling, humans try to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 protected by all means. Unfortunately, that thought brings violence to the surface.
However
, learning how to defend yourself seems to be a good idea.
For example
, attending classes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 self-defence or enrolling
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 martial arts courses.
Besides
, there is no better way to feel protected than using your own power and capabilities.
Furthermore
, robberies have been proven to occur more often late at night. By taking that as a fact the government should increase the police presence at those hours, so their citizens could enjoy the nightlife feeling safe.
For instance
, there are countries in Europe, where since the empowerment of their police forces there was noticed a significant drop of violence. For that reason,l believe that their role of protection could be the answer to the problem. Ultimately, self-defence
as well as
 state protection, are the answers to the fear we all feel about being robbed.It's important that we
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know how to react to
this
 danger, but even more important is our protection from the government. Hopefully,
this
 phenomenon will disappear in the next decade
Submitted by margarita99sila on

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Task Achievement
Task response: Your response to the prompt is adequate, providing clear arguments and partial examples. To improve, ensure that your essay comprehensively responds to all parts of the question, including more specific references or statistics, and that each point is fully elaborated with clear, relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: While your essay has a discernible progression of ideas, you could enhance your writing by ensuring smoother transitions between points and maintaining clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs. Linking words could be used more effectively to improve flow. Carefully organize your paragraphs to show clear relationships between ideas and make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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