Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to suppor

#people #fear #streets #robberies #houses #person #security #suppor

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There has been a prevailing belief that robberies often happen outdoors,

while

Linking Words

at the same time, the danger remains for indoor robberies too. Because of

this

Linking Words

fact, citizens tend to stay inside to ensure their security. Is hiding from society the best solution? In the subsequent paragraphs, I will provide you with some of my ideas on

this

Linking Words

topic. First of all, it is in human nature to protect ourselves and the ones close to us, so because of

this

Linking Words

primal feeling, humans try to

get

Verb problem

show examples

protected by all means. Unfortunately, that thought brings violence to the surface.

However

Linking Words

, learning how to defend yourself seems to be a good idea.

For example

Linking Words

, attending classes

Change preposition

show examples

self-defence or enrolling

into

Change preposition

show examples

martial arts courses.

Besides

Linking Words

, there is no better way to feel protected than using your own power and capabilities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, robberies have been proven to occur more often late at night. By taking that as a fact the government should increase the police presence at those hours, so their citizens could enjoy the nightlife feeling safe.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are countries in Europe, where since the empowerment of their police forces there was noticed a significant drop of violence. For that reason,l believe that their role of protection could be the answer to the problem. Ultimately, self-defence

as well as

Linking Words

state protection, are the answers to the fear we all feel about being robbed.It's important that we

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

know how to react to

this

Linking Words

danger, but even more important is our protection from the government. Hopefully,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon will disappear in the next decade

Submitted by margarita99sila on Sat Jan 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Task response: Your response to the prompt is adequate, providing clear arguments and partial examples. To improve, ensure that your essay comprehensively responds to all parts of the question, including more specific references or statistics, and that each point is fully elaborated with clear, relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: While your essay has a discernible progression of ideas, you could enhance your writing by ensuring smoother transitions between points and maintaining clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs. Linking words could be used more effectively to improve flow. Carefully organize your paragraphs to show clear relationships between ideas and make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When choosing a future career, people generally tend to either consult those they are close to or make the choice themselves. Whilst both paths are equally valid, I am of firm belief that every person should decide on their own future without intervention, as their life is constructed of choices they make, as well as their deeds.
5
band
High school athletes should not fall under the spell of harmful stereotypes. what is your opinion?
The fact that athletes at high school level are stereotyped based on a plethora of factors is almost a given these days. Most often, these tend to have negative effects on them and cause serious consequences. In my opinion, high school athletes should not fall prey to these negative beliefs, and should try to hold a positive outlook to hold themselves together.
4.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign languge can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
With the advancement of technology, artificial intelligence has come of age. While artificial intelligence does bring various benefits, it is crucial to strike a balance between artificial intelligence and teachers in terms of education. This essay will talk about why I don't agree with this statement.
8
band
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is sometimes argued that tourists from overseas should be charged more than local residents to visit important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with this idea.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is claimed that there exists opinion about positive consequences of reducing the working week from 5 or 6 days to 3 or 4. However, not all understand how it will work and why it can be lucrative for companies to apply this method.

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to suppor

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

High school athletes should not fall under the spell of harmful stereotypes. what is your opinion?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign languge can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.