More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?

The spreading of information that too much in newspapers,
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
, and online news about the activity
are
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is
show examples
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
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in
this
era of globalization.
This
essay will examine why
this
trend happening
?
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.
show examples
and what are the drawbacks for the reading public?
Firstly
,
many
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much
show examples
news in tabloids or newspapers, either it is online or offline
happen
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happens
show examples
because
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because of
show examples
the culture of the society itself. Especially in Indonesia,
peoples
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people
show examples
tend to follow the daily activities of some
celebrities
.
Hence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journalist
try
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tries
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to
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities
to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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society's
show examples
needs.
However
, sometimes there are
hoaks
Correct your spelling
hooks
honks
or clickbait that can push
peoples
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people
show examples
to
reading
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read
show examples
the article.
Secondly
, the drawbacks of too much news about
celebrities
are
peoples
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people
show examples
try to
immitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
the social life of
celebrities
and they
not
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do not
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reliaze
Correct your spelling
realise
the condition of their
economics
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economy
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.
For instance
, young people with
celebrities
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celebrity
show examples
culture. They
are not think
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do not think
show examples
before buying something. It will affect the economic condition because they being a consumptive person. We can
conlude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, that the rise of information
of
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about
show examples
celebrities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
the society and the culture itself.
Journalist
Fix the agreement mistake
Journalists
show examples
utilize the condition where
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
tend to read about the daily lives of
celebrities
. Of course, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more information.
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
more consumptive and
immitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
the
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrity's
celebrities'
show examples
cultures.
Submitted by almirarhaseshaa on

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coherence cohesion
The essay fails to clarify the purpose in the introduction, leading to a confusing structure. The conclusion provides a summary but the points made are not fully developed throughout the essay.
task achievement
You only begin to address the main points and relevant examples, but there is no clear exposition or explanation of these ideas. Consider elaborating on your arguments to fully answer all parts of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrity culture
  • societal values
  • social media
  • voyeurism
  • sensationalism
  • readership
  • paparazzi
  • invasion of privacy
  • commercial gain
  • pressing topics
  • informed citizenry
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • low self-esteem
  • misinformation
  • unrealistic expectations
  • manipulated portrayals
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