Some people believe that university education is essential if people have a successful life, while others think that nowadays this is not true. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #life #points

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Nowadays, it is considered vital for high school students to pass their exams and gain a place at a reputable

university

. If they do so, many

people

argue it is very likely that they will be successful throughout their lives.

However

, in my view, there is no direct correlation between a

university

education

and an enjoyable and full

life

It is clear that

success

life

can be defined in several ways. If

success

means enjoying

life

then

this

does not require a graduate or postgraduate degree.

However

, if

success

is defined as getting a good job, and enjoying a prestigious career, a higher

education

is a vital tool for achieving

this

For example

, many jobs,

such

as in medical and legal practice, are closed to those who do not have graduate or postgraduate qualifications in that particular field.

As a result

, anybody who wants to get a job in one of the professions, or a management position in a prestigious company, must graduate from tertiary

education

However

, the world is full of examples of

people

who have been successful despite not going to

university

, or even completing secondary

education

in some cases. If

people

have a brilliant business idea, it is not necessary for them to complete a

university

course in order to set up an extremely successful company and make hundreds of millions of dollars.

For example

, neither Bill Gates nor Steve Jobs graduated from

university

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but were dramatically successful in their business careers after dropping out halfway through their courses.

Consequently

, it is by no means certain that somebody who does not flourish at

university

will not have a successful

life

. In today’s rapidly changing world, it is necessary to keep an open mind about what constitutes

success

Although

in general obtaining a good degree is essential for most

people

to enjoy a successful career,

this

is by no means true for everyone.

Submitted by 76805977 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the prompt with an appropriate level of depth, and there is a clear position throughout your response. Nonetheless, to enhance your score further, ensure you expand on both points of view equally and develop your conclusion to fully encapsulate your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay exhibits a coherent flow of ideas with an identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, you could improve the cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and ensuring even development of both sides of the argument to strengthen the logical structure.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Some people believe that university education is essential if people have a successful life, while others think that nowadays this is not true. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Band-9 Samples: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.