Some people believe that university education is essential if people have a successful life, while others think that nowadays this is not true. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, it is considered vital for high school students to pass their exams and gain a place at a reputable
university
. If they do so, many people
argue it is very likely that they will be successful throughout their lives. However
, in my view, there is no direct correlation between a university
education
and an enjoyable and full life
.
It is clear that
success
in life
can be defined in several ways. If success
means enjoying life
, then
this
does not require a graduate or postgraduate degree. However
, if success
is defined as getting a good job, and enjoying a prestigious career, a higher education
is a vital tool for achieving this
. For example
, many jobs, such
as in medical and legal practice, are closed to those who do not have graduate or postgraduate qualifications in that particular field. As a result
, anybody who wants to get a job in one of the professions, or a management position in a prestigious company, must graduate from tertiary education
.
However
, the world is full of examples of people
who have been successful despite not going to university
, or even completing secondary education
in some cases. If people
have a brilliant business idea, it is not necessary for them to complete a university
course in order to set up an extremely successful company and make hundreds of millions of dollars. For example
, neither Bill Gates nor Steve Jobs graduated from university
,
but were dramatically successful in their business careers after dropping out halfway through their courses. Remove the comma
apply
Consequently
, it is by no means certain that somebody who does not flourish at university
will not have a successful life
.
In today’s rapidly changing world, it is necessary to keep an open mind about what constitutes success
. Although
in general obtaining a good degree is essential for most people
to enjoy a successful career, this
is by no means true for everyone.Submitted by 76805977 on
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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt with an appropriate level of depth, and there is a clear position throughout your response. Nonetheless, to enhance your score further, ensure you expand on both points of view equally and develop your conclusion to fully encapsulate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits a coherent flow of ideas with an identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, you could improve the cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and ensuring even development of both sides of the argument to strengthen the logical structure.