students should spend timeworking before beginning their university studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a common view that young people
ough
Correct your spelling
ought
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to find a
job
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before their
university
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education.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees that it is more important to go to work first rather than go to learn at college early if they are
students
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. The main benefit of having a
job
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before
university
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studies is
students
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can gain practical skills.
This
Linking Words
is because most of the jobs that young people work require labor which might teach them basic skills.
For instance
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,
waiter
Correct article usage
the waiter
show examples
job
Use synonyms
is one of the most preferred
profession
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professions
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by young people and might teach them how to wash dishes and remove the table.
Moreover
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, working in a
coffeshop
Correct your spelling
coffeeshop
coffee shop
also
Linking Words
is the second most preferred
job
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by youngsters. They can learn how to make different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
coffes
Correct your spelling
coffees
coffee
,
cakes
Correct word choice
and cakes
show examples
, and even improve their social skills by having a chat with customers and
make
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making
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friendships.
Secondly
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, from the financial point of view, another advantage is earning income before
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university
Add an article
the university
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can lessen the financial burden of tuition fees and living expenses.
Thus
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, it reduces the need for student loans.
For example
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, Hong Kong, a big city in China, has one of the lowest rates of
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students
Change the noun form
student
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loan applications because
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
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government gives incentives to teenagers to make them work in a
job
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before their
university
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studies.
However
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, a drawback is that working in a
job
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might cause a delay in their career which can be crucial for the
students
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who want to step into the business world as fast as they can.
To sum up
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, there are benefits and disadvantages of working before college. Personally speaking, I am inclined to believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by edzcls on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a basic logical structure; however, improved coherence could be achieved through clearer transitions and better paragraph structure. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea with clear supporting details.
task achievement
Ideas in the essay are relevant to the task, yet they need to be more fully expanded. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is developed with specific reasons, examples, and details.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical experience
  • academic learning
  • theoretical concepts
  • soft skills
  • time management
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • work experience
  • competitive job market
  • career goals
  • field of study
  • cultural exposure
  • global mindset
  • career progression
  • academic skills atrophy
  • period of adjustment
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