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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the type of transport young people in four countries prefer to use.

The chart below shows the type of transport young people in four countries prefer to use.
#type #transport #people #four #countries
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The bar chart illustrates
Correct article usage
the precentage
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precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of transportation that young
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 in Great Britain,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
Germany
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 and France. In general, it can be seen that
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 popular in Great Britain,
USA
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 and France.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the most popular vehicle in
Germany
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 is
Bicycle
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. As presented in
graph
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the graph
a graph
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,
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motorcycle
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motorcycles
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only
Add a missing verb
are only
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 popular in
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. Not in
other country
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another country
other countries
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. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
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more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 popular in Asia not in Europe. Young
people
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 in Great Britain prefer to
use
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Use synonyms
car
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a car
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 than
Correct article usage
a motorcyle
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motorcyle
Correct your spelling
motorcycle
 and
bicycle
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. at 60% of total. Meanwhile, only 10%
folks
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of folks
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 like
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motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
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 as their accommodation. It is
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
with
Change preposition
to
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 France where
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car
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the car
a car
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 is the most favorite transportation, and the lowest popular is
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motorcycle
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a motorcycle
the motorcycle
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. In
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
people
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 still choose
Use synonyms
car
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a car
the car
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 as their favorite transport. But, they prefer to
use
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Use synonyms
motorcycle
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motorcycles
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 than
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bicycle
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bicycles
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. As the lowest number of
people
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 only 10%. Young residents in
Germany
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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different
Add an article
a different
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Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
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preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
. They prefer to
use
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Use synonyms
bicycle
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bicycles
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 as
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 one of transport
intead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
Use synonyms
car
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cars
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 and
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motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
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. Apparently, some
people
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 in
Germany
Use synonyms
has
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have
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healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 and participate in
reduce
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reducing
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 carbon
in
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on
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 the earth. The difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 young
people
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's
preference
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preferences
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 transport can be influenced by various
reason
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reasons
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. One of them is their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by oktiviay17 on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, usa, germany, car, bicycle, motorcycle with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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