IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

#people #success #teacher #attitude #student #side #opinion*
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it is true that education is the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success, Many
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 advocate
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
teacher's
Change the noun form
teachers
teacher
show examples
 are the key to
educatinal's
Change noun form
educatinal
show examples
 system success,
however
 others
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 it is not
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on student behaviour.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 given essay I will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both view. I believe
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 teacher shows the right way to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 success.
Submitted by dipakyadav11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay introduction lacks clarity and does not properly paraphrase the task statement. The thesis statement is weak and is not properly developed throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay does not adequately discuss both sides of the argument. Further, it fails to provide specific reasons, examples, or evidence to support claims.
coherence and cohesion
There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings which severely impede the reader's understanding. Proofreading is essential to improve the essay's coherence and grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is disorganized and lacks clear logical structure. To improve coherence, there needs to be a clear progression of ideas with well-structured paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You need to develop a coherent essay with an introduction, well-developed body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion which summarizes the points made and restates your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: