Shopping is becoming more and more popular leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Going shopping used to be a chore activity and something that people only did out of necessity. Nowadays shopping has become an amusement diversion. Every time you go to any shopping centre, it is always buzzing with people buying and spending money.
Although
shopping has become so popular, it is arguable that
this
has a positive impact on our society. Shopping can be a good deal to have fun. Some shoppers find shopping as a hobby that allows them to relax, keeps them entertained and allows them to escape from their normal routine. Hedonic shopping
also
tends to be really social in nature and is most of the time enhanced by the presence of friends.
Finally
, shopping is described as an experience often characterised by a sense of accomplishment and offers the opportunity for personal expression. There are negative consequences to
this
consumerist culture which in my opinion overweight the positives. Shopping can be an addictive hobby for some people and that may have economic consequences for individuals if they spend more money than they can afford.
Then
,
this
will create guilt and
finally
depression.
Moreover
, studies have shown that those who have the habit of excessive buying practice less sports and spend less time in nature. In conclusion,
although
there may be a perception of shopping as a leisure activity, we should be aware of the negative effects that overbuying may have on our mental health and we should find other leisure activities that bring feelings of well-being and calmness to ourselves.
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task response
To improve your task response, make sure you fully address both parts of the question. While your essay touches on why shopping is popular and its effects on individuals and society, it could benefit from more detailed explanations and direct answers to the questions posed. Include more specific examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear overall progression. It is good practice to start paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations. Also, making more explicit connections between your ideas could enhance the logical flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. This will also help connect your ideas more clearly and make your arguments more persuasive. Additionally, try to balance the information and analysis between the positives and negatives more evenly.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
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