Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #competition #work #school #life

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Competition

Use synonyms

is quite universal in our society.

However

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people

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have various opinions on

this

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phenomenon. Some believe that

competition

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is beneficial to social development, but the opposing side points out

competition

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offers many detrimental effects on human beings. From my perspective,

competition

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could create obstacles in various areas if not handled properly. Undoubtedly, being competitive is crucial on some particular occasions, especially when

people

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have dedicated themselves to doing some meaningful jobs, which would bring positive influences to individuals and society. Appropriate

competition

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could unleash

people

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's potential, stimulating them to achieve their goals passionately.

Furthermore

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, higher motivations and creativities caused by

competition

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would create prosperity in the world.

For example

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, Silicon Valley has a competitive working atmosphere where talented brains are competing to innovate better technologies to serve the community. So, our life quality gets improved by many technical innovations.

On the other hand

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, it is apparent that life has become more stressful and difficult

due to

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competition

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, even young children have to suffer it at school.

In other words

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, excessive

competition

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may destroy

people

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's normal life that should be full of cooperation and support among

people

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Consequently

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people

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would be more selfish and unfeeling without emotion and compassion, which makes threats against human civilizations.

Therefore

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, more and more

people

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are starting to review the importance of cooperation and reflect on the implications of

competition

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. In my opinion,

competition

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has to be limited in a particular frame,

such

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as fairness and morality,

otherwise

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, it would be more harm than good. All in all, humanity as a whole, should seek more cooperation.

Submitted by Timothy on Sat Nov 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the examples used in your essay directly support your points. For instance, while the mention of Silicon Valley is effective, it could be further detailed to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Try to develop your counterarguments further to strengthen your response. Discuss how cooperation can yield benefits similar to or greater than competition in the same situations.

coherence cohesion

Consider refining transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow throughout your discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents both views and your own opinion, establishing a solid foundation for the essay.

logical structure

The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments and counterarguments.

relevant specific examples

You effectively use a specific example by referencing Silicon Valley, which illustrates how competition can lead to innovation and societal benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?