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Band 3

In many countries around the world,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Nowadays,many countries are dealing with
significantly
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a significantly
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 diminishing
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 of people living in
countryside
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the countryside
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,
while
 the number of
induviduals
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individuals
 moving to
metropolices
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metropolises
metropolis
 is rapidly increasing.
Although
,
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apply
show examples
this
 phenomenon has both positive and negative sides, I believe that
it's
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its
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 disadvantages
outweight
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outweigh
advantages
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the advantages
show examples
,because of several conditions. 
Firstly
,it cannot be denied,that urbanization
provides
Verb problem
has
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huge
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a huge
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 impact on the development of economics.
However
,
rural
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the rural
show examples
 population is faced with crucial consequences,
such
 as
shortage
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a shortage
show examples
 of young generation and
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of labour resources in villages. The most notable influence has been observed in
agrucultural
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agricultural
 and farming
spheares
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spheres
,
wherease
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where
 people of retirement age are not available to work effectively.
Hence
, the quality of food and organic products is sharply declining.
Moreover
,there are some
countrysides
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countries
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 in Italy,France and Greece,that have
been
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apply
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completely disappeared
due to
 massive migration.
Secondly
,
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the arising
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arising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 demand
in
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for
show examples
 higher
salary
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salaries
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,better education and facilities,are the main reasons why people move to capitals.
Therefore
,big cities are becoming overcrowded and traffic congestions of roads,might be considered
as a result
 of
this
 tendency. Tackling with carbon emissions and
environemental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues is the most important problem of modern cities.
In addition
,poor air quality may
provoque
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provoke
 health problems and diseases like asthma,
allergy
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allergies
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 or even
lung's
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lung
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 cancer. In conclusion, though relocation to urban areas
have
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has
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 numerous merits,
it's
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its
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negatory
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negative
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 drawbacks,
for example
:
distinction
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the distinction
a distinction
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of
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between
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 small towns,deterioration of
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
 products and degradation of ecology,which leads to serious illnesses should be taken
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. In your body paragraphs, present your arguments with clear topic sentences at the beginning, followed by explanations and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar accuracy. Misused and misspelled words like 'induviduals', 'spheares', 'provoque', or 'negatory' can hinder understanding and thus the overall coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
When presenting an argument, be sure to expand on your main points with appropriate explanations and examples. Avoid overly broad statements and provide concrete and relevant illustrations to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the question fully, offering a balanced view if the prompt requires a discussion of both positive and negative aspects. Your conclusion should also summarily reflect on the points discussed in the essay without introducing new information.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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