Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no denying the fact that nowadays, environmental problems are a huge concern.
While
it is a commonly held belief that the high extinction rates of animals and plants are the biggest environmental issue we need to be concerned about, there is an argument that there are more pressing issues that should be solved. This
essay will analyze this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one hand, there are serious ecological crises that could threaten our life need to focus on them rather than losing species of animals and plants. In other words
, global warming, air and water pollution, and climate change have far-reaching consequences that are not always immediately apparent. In addition
, widespread diseases and severe weather events have arisen due to
these issues. For example
, Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, complains of serious health problems, such
as flu, pneumonia, and so on as a result
of air pollution that comes from industrial activities.
On the other hand
, a reduction in the number of species can disrupt the ecosystems. It is also
possible to say that any small alteration in the ecosystem causes a significant impact on all living beings. Moreover
, this
countless extinction drastically deteriorates biodiversity and leads to further
myriad ecological disturbances. For instance
, the extinction of bees can have serious consequences for agriculture, as bees play a vital role in pollinating crops.
In conclusion, there are no easy to answers this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that there are a diverse number of issues that threaten our planet and require urgent attention to address them.Submitted by dentdent4 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure to some extent, but transition phrases could be improved to maintain better flow. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct main idea to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, though they could be more impactful. Aim to provide a stronger thesis statement and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates your position.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea supported by detailed evidence or examples, which was lacking in depth in this essay. Incorporate more specific instances or data to substantiate your points.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, your response could be more complete by fully developing both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. This includes delving into why some might view the loss of species as the primary concern and contrasting this with other environmental issues in more detail.
task achievement
Your ideas are presented with a degree of clarity, but they could be developed more comprehensively. Make sure to elaborate on the implications of each viewpoint and provide a thorough explanation of the reasoning behind each position.
task achievement
The examples used in the essay are relevant but too general. To score higher, incorporate specific, detailed examples that directly support your discussion points.
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