Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays, whether a
government
should step into citizens’ health
or not is a controversial question. Some people
think it is their role to take care of themself. However
, other people
suggest the government
is meant to be involved in people
’s health
responsibility. In my view, I partially agree with the latter idea, as long as public constitutions give appropriate support.
People
who argue that the management of personal health
is an individual’s responsibility think we are our own person, and it is not allowed to interfere with personal things by others. After all, each body’s fitness and other conditions are quite different and no one understands more own physical state than ourselves. Whether people
exercise as much as they need to, have a balanced diet, or whether people
usually stay up late, or eat junk food. Everyone’s own options for living a healthy lifestyle or a degenerate standard are in their control of themselves. Therefore
, taking charge of sundry outcomes which are brought about by different lifestyles should be people
’s role.
On the other hand
, there are some reasons for arguing that the authorities should engage in nationals’
Fix the agreement mistake
national’
health
, especially for people
who have dire diseases or mental health
problems. Firstly
, nowadays, the majority of people
suffer from uncontrolled mental illness, which the public also
lacks ample recognition of, as a result
, people
need the government
to provide professional resources, such
as mental health
counselors
to assist them. Change the spelling
counsellors
Secondly
, some people
who suffer from rare diseases can not afford a wealth of medical expenses, they need help consequently
. Finally
, nationals’ integral health
is very important, it represents the country’s competitiveness. Moreover
, poor health
means low morale. The government
has duties to request people
to take note of their health
.
In conclusion, as they say, “Too much is as bad as little”. The government
only supplies moderate materials and services to prevent waste. According to
situations, if the origins which cause bad effects on our health
are not out of reach, in other words
, they can be controlled and coped with by people
themselves, then
people
should endeavor
to face and change these issues in person without the Change the spelling
endeavour
government
’s assistance. Except that people
, faced with serious health
trouble need intervention from public constitutions.Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on
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task achievement
Consider adding more relevant and specific examples to help support your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in your ideas by refining some sentences and expressions. This will make your argument more coherent and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to clearly demonstrate the relationships between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, and provide a clear framework for your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument as well as your personal opinion.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported, giving strength to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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