Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, whether a
government
should step into citizens’
health
or not is a controversial question. Some
people
think it is their role to take care of themself.
However
, other
people
suggest the
government
is meant to be involved in
people
’s
health
responsibility. In my view, I partially agree with the latter idea, as long as public constitutions give appropriate support.
People
who argue that the management of personal
health
is an individual’s responsibility think we are our own person, and it is not allowed to interfere with personal things by others. After all, each body’s fitness and other conditions are quite different and no one understands more own physical state than ourselves. Whether
people
exercise as much as they need to, have a balanced diet, or whether
people
usually stay up late, or eat junk food. Everyone’s own options for living a healthy lifestyle or a degenerate standard are in their control of themselves.
Therefore
, taking charge of sundry outcomes which are brought about by different lifestyles should be
people
’s role.
On the other hand
, there are some reasons for arguing that the authorities should engage in
nationals’
Fix the agreement mistake
national’
show examples
health
, especially for
people
who have dire diseases or mental
health
problems.
Firstly
, nowadays, the majority of
people
suffer from uncontrolled mental illness, which the public
also
lacks ample recognition of,
as a result
,
people
need the
government
to provide professional resources,
such
as mental
health
counselors
Change the spelling
counsellors
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to assist them.
Secondly
, some
people
who suffer from rare diseases can not afford a wealth of medical expenses, they need help
consequently
.
Finally
, nationals’ integral
health
is very important, it represents the country’s competitiveness.
Moreover
, poor
health
means low morale. The
government
has duties to request
people
to take note of their
health
. In conclusion, as they say, “Too much is as bad as little”. The
government
only supplies moderate materials and services to prevent waste.
According to
situations, if the origins which cause bad effects on our
health
are not out of reach,
in other words
, they can be controlled and coped with by
people
themselves,
then
people
should
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
to face and change these issues in person without the
government
’s assistance. Except that
people
, faced with serious
health
trouble need intervention from public constitutions.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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Ensure clarity in your ideas by refining some sentences and expressions. This will make your argument more coherent and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to clearly demonstrate the relationships between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, and provide a clear framework for your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument as well as your personal opinion.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported, giving strength to your arguments.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
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