The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whoever commits a crime on roadways there is only one way to safeguard the life of a people and

that is

by providing harsh penalties to drivers. I totally disagree with

this

and think that accidents might occur at any time and that punishment is not always a solution.

Firstly

, on highways, there is a maximum possibility of accidents and most of them are unintentional. We can not be sure when exactly it is going to happen on a

road

trip.

For instance

, there is a zebra cross nearby but if a child crosses from the other side of a

road

where he is not supposed to and a car running at a great speed collides and dies on the spot

then

it is unfair to say it's driver's fault.

Thus

instead

of penalizing or making laws against drivers people should be made aware of traffic rules and regulations.

On the other hand

, accidents are inevitable but they can be lessened to some extent.

For example

, in Nepal, the majority of highway roadways are in the worst condition meaning they are not paved well. In

this

case, if a driver drives normally all day and has years of experience but if the condition of the

road

is poor

then

someday he might have to face the consequences. That's why it is necessary to refurbish roads timely.

To conclude

, to avoid incidents on roads ,rather than providing penalties to drivers it is crucial to provide knowledge to pupils about traffic rules and maintenance of the

road

time and again.

Submitted by suneel22.sn on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task only partially. You need to stay more focused on the statement given and fully address the extent of your agreement or disagreement throughout the essay with a balanced argument and a clear position.

coherence cohesion

There is a noticeable lack of coherence in the progression of your points. Consider using linking words more effectively and structuring your paragraphs to ensure the logical flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. Include a variety of relevant examples and explanations to support your arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people believe that computers and the Internet are more important to a child’s education than schools and teachers. However, others argue that schools and teachers play a more important role in the education of children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.