Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Emerging

disease

is a complex matter as it IS caused by various reasons. If

disease

control is taken lightly, it would cause a bigger catastrophe,

such

as AN epidemic or even A pandemic. I side with some people who believe

ABOUT

Change preposition

show examples

the importance of government

to manage

Change preposition

in managing

show examples

the root cause of emerging

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

, including manmade

hazardS

Correct your spelling

hazards

show examples

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

and housing problems.

This

will be proven by discussing various airborne

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

in a packed neighbourhood,

as well as

comparing the illness trends between village and city.

Firstly

, so many kinds of bacteria and

virusES

Correct your spelling

viruses

show examples

are getting transferred

Change preposition

apply

show examples

FROM one person to another by air and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

close contact between

ill

Correct article usage

an ill

show examples

patient and

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

population can increase the agent’s transmission.

For instance

, there is A higher chance of Tuberculosis (TBC)

transMISSION

Correct your spelling

transmission

show examples

in A lower-income society because their homes ARE

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

very close to each other. The other example is a skyrocketing rise NUMBER of asphyxiation among people in industrial

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

as they inhale a lot of hazardous particles.

Hence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unregulated housing and pollution control

are

Change the verb form

show examples

undoubtedly the most pivotal cause of illnesses, especially airborne

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

Secondly

, taking a closer look at

disease

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

among city and village inhabitants, the former tend to suffer from more chronic

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

untreatable than the people who live in a village. The reason behind

that is

that the villagers are still able to enjoy the unpolluted oxygen as they do not use much fossil-fueled private transportation, compared to the urban society.

Thus

, it is apparent that

life

Correct article usage

the life

show examples

quality of villagers

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

relatively better than those who live in the city because they face less

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental pollution and housing

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. In conclusion, both good housing

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

and well-controlled environmental

hazard

Fix the agreement mistake

hazards

show examples

are crucial to prevent the transmission of illnesses.

Hence

, it is agreeable to urge the government to utilize its authority to manage more convenient places to live and make strong regulations to stop the

occurence

Correct your spelling

occurrence

of environmental issues.

Submitted by pink panther on Thu Jan 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to directly address the prompt in the introduction and the conclusion to ensure a complete response. Your essay partially addresses the topic, but could benefit from a clearer position stated in both the intro and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a progression of ideas, but transitions and paragraph structures could be improved for better logical flow. Try to use varied and clear topic sentences and more cohesive devices.

task achievement

While examples are provided, aim to use specific and directly relevant examples to support your main points. Vague references like 'so many kinds of bacteria and viruses' need to be more precise.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with grammatical accuracy, especially with articles and subject-verb agreement, as errors can hinder the clarity of your argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
you are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. in your letter explain: why you cannot pay the rent; when you will pay the rent; how you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future.
The main reason why I am writing to explain you why I cannot pay the rent on time. Also, I am going to ask if I can pay later.
5
band
The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In light of the increasing rate of the juvenile delinquency, some individuals regard the education of good parenting skills to parents as the best way to decrease this social phenomenon. I acknowledge that this approach has its advantages, but there are other solutions that can yield better outcomes.
4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that utilizing mobile phones is forbidden in special places. I consider myself an advocate of this idea.
7
band
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Some folks have been living in the same hometown for their entire lives. This phenomenon is caused by familiar feelings of the town and being near their relatives. Although this choice allows them to have a better social connection with the residents, they eventually have limited choice of work.
5
band
Question 30 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Since science and technology are becoming more and more important in modern society, schools should spend more time on teaching these subjects rather than on arts and humanities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, where science and technology play increasingly significant roles, there is a growing emphasis on the need for schools to allocate more time and resources towards teaching these subjects. Though this has caused a debate between those who advocate for this viewpoint argue that science and technology have direct practical applications and job prospects, and are essential for navigating the modern world. Conversely, proponents of arts and humanities education assert the importance of these subjects for fostering critical thinking and creativity, arguing that they contribute to a well-rounded education.

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

you are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. in your letter explain: why you cannot pay the rent; when you will pay the rent; how you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?