In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this problem?
In the modern world, despite achieving serious advances in agriculture, hunger is still a problem across the globe. In my opinion,
this
is due to
the lack of cooperation among countries
, and the solution to this
would be joint efforts of all countries
to resolve this
.
Nevertheless
, the main cause of the issue is the inefficient functioning of countries
which leads to poverty. Owing to this
, many people cannot afford basic human needs, such
as food and water, thus
many people die from starvation. For instance
, the Third World countries
in Africa suffer a lot from this
problem, where the majority of the population does not have access to water, therefore
they cannot produce crops to consume.
Moreover
, to solve this
, the UN should implement legislative measures
under the context of international law, where it can unite developed countries
to address the issue and try to find possible solutions collectively. On the other hand
, hunger can be resolved by implementing local measures
without intervening from outside forces. Such
measures
as getting rid of corruption, because in most cases, corruption is an underlying cause of this
, hence
it be would reasonable to confine officials or other state workers if they did cutbacks in budget. Additionally
, of course, this
might be solved using both ways, considering all the possible outcomes of these measures
.
Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to a conclusion that this
is caused by various reasons and be solved by cooperation internationally and locally. So it would not be surprising to see some improvements in dealing with this
shortly-after
Correct your spelling
shortly after
Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has an adequate logical structure, but greater attention to clarity in paragraph organization would benefit the overall coherence. Aim to introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence followed by more expansion and exemplification.
coherence cohesion
Though you have an introduction and conclusion, both could be enhanced. The introduction should more directly address the question, and the conclusion could be expanded upon, providing a more resolute stance or summary of the essay's main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but underdeveloped; supporting statements should be expanded with more detailed examples and explanations to back up assertions. Use concrete examples and data where possible to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The response to the prompt is only partially complete; there is room for a deeper exploration of causes behind worldwide hunger and more elaborated solutions. Ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed thoroughly.
task achievement
While the essay contains clear ideas, they could be explained more comprehensively. Invest more effort into developing each point with additional details and explanations to provide a clearer and more complete argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, but they lack specificity and detail. Providing specific case studies or statistics could improve the relevance and impact of the examples used to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.