Some people believe that the most important aim of science is it improves people' lives. What extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, technological advancement has a direct influence on our lives, some believe that
,
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scientific breakthroughs must raise people’s
life
quality. I agree with
this
statement to some extent, but we should consider that we are not alone on
this
planet. On the one hand, science should boost different aspects of human
life
and increase people’s
life
quality.
Firstly
, in the field of medicine, scientific improvement has a positive impact on our lifespans and decreases the rate of mortality noticeably,
for example
by simple vaccination in our childhood we are immune to numerous diseases.
Secondly
, through transportation development, individuals are able to experience a more comfortable
life
than before and technology provides us with a safe and fast journey.
Finally
, by inventing various types of machines, most of our responsibilities are taken by robots which offer us more free time and a convenient
life
.
On the other hand
, science should not only serve humans. There are tremendous numbers of creatures, who are sharing the Earth with us, and the majority of them are in danger of extinction because of human activities, scientists should address some solutions to tackle
this
problem.
Furthermore
, air pollution which is caused by carbon emissions could be solved by scientists' contributions,
for instance
, by using more renewable energies
such
as solar panels and wind turbines
instead
of fossil fuels. In conclusion, my view is that science should raise our
life
qualifications, meanwhile , the environmental issues and other creatures must not be forgotten.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your essay's logical structure. While your points are well-expressed, the transition between them could be smoother to improve readability.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully supported with relevant specific examples. For instance, adding more detailed examples in the second paragraph regarding transportation and machines could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly presented the introduction and conclusion, making your essay easy to follow and understand. This helps provide a good overall structure.
task achievement
Your essay thoroughly covers the main points of the topic and gives a balanced response, showing consideration of multiple perspectives.

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