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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.
#belows #sales #food #items #cafe #seasons
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The graph gives information about the number of servings sold by the Brisk Cafe in
winter
Use synonyms
 and
summer
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the hot menu is preferable in the
winter
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cold menu is highly ordered in the
summer
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, salad selling
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not influenced by the seasons. In reference
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 coffee, the Brisk Cafe can serve over 70 cups per
day
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 the number significantly
plummeting
Wrong verb form
plummets
show examples
 down to only 30 cups per
day
Use synonyms
. The same pattern applies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 soup in which 50 servings in
winter
Use synonyms
 before experiencing a substantial dip to only half of it. The iced coffee and ice cream have its selling trend reversed. In
winter
Use synonyms
, almost no iced coffee is bought by the
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
 with its high selling in
dry
Add an article
the dry
show examples
 season which is 40 cups in a
day
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, ice cream is sold above 20 cones per
day
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 to just over 30 by
summer
Use synonyms
. As for salad, the orders are stable
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 just under 30
order
Change the form of the verb
orders
show examples
 per
day
Use synonyms
 in both seasons.
Submitted by maukaburtubel on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words winter, summer, day with synonyms.
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