Somez people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Many
people
claim that athletes
an important people
because they can bring honour to their country
when they win the game so the government
should focus on them and spend on athletes
. However
, it is just only a group of people
but other people
think that's government
should support facilities for sport and other national in the country
as well.
To begin
with, let's take a look at why numerous nations are conscious of sportsmen. As mentioned on top honour of clime is important for populations it can be soft power also
. Moreover
, it can make money from tourists and sponsors who want to invest in sports and it can make money for the country
too. For instance
, klick boxing many people
stereotype that Thai people
are experts in this
game and many tourists come to learn in Thailand so it makes income for the country
and boxing gyms.
Alternatively, some people
want budget
distribution because every sector plays an important role in developing the country
. It is not just athletes
who can bring honour, and fame to the country
or generate income for the country
, but every sector can play a part in developing the country
, such
as public health, education or industry. Therefore
, distributing the budget
to many sectors will have a significant impact on the country
. Although
,
ordinary citizens Remove the comma
apply
also
play a part in developing the country
, the budget
should be allocated to the welfare state to further
develop the country
.
To sum up
, in my opinion, all parts are important. It is the government
's duty to manage the budget
to be sufficient for developing the potential of the people
in the country
, not just athletes
who should receive financial support to develop themselves. Because not everyone has the ability or interest in sports. If the government
has to pay a high price to develop athletes
only, it is not a worthwhile investment.Submitted by np.napatping on
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task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points, especially when discussing how budget distribution can impact sectors besides sports.
overall
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to make your argument clearer. Some sentences need better construction to fully convey your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument before delving into details, to give the reader a comprehensive overview right from the start.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a strong approach to this topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument, reinforcing the narrative that the government should consider the broader needs of society.
Your opinion
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