IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the best way to motivate and exchange people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant example

There is a view that the best way to inspire and encourage individuals to
work
Use synonyms
 hard is to pay them based on the number of products they produce or sell.
While
Linking Words
 some oppose
this
Linking Words
 idea, I argue in favour . On the one hand, performance-based pay can motivate workers to be more productive. When employees know they will receive more money if they produce or sell more items, they are likely to put in extra effort, even beyond their usual working hours.
For example
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, in many businesses, hardworking employees often help increase profits, which benefits both the company and the individual.
Moreover
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,
such
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 a system allows workers to learn how to improve their sales or production skills, which can support their career growth.
On the other hand
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, working too hard in order to earn more money can have a negative effect on health.
For instance
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, some people may choose to
work
Use synonyms
 night shifts or overtime regularly, which can reduce the quality of their sleep and lead to stress.
As a result
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, they may suffer from tiredness or poor concentration at
work
Use synonyms
, increasing the risk of mistakes. In
such
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 cases, the pressure to
work
Use synonyms
 more could outweigh the benefits. In conclusion,
although
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 paying workers based on their performance can increase productivity and earnings, it can
also
Linking Words
 cause health problems if not managed well.
Therefore
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,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 system has advantages, companies should
also
Linking Words
 take steps to protect their workers’ well-being.

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task achievement
Make sure your examples are clear and directly linked to your main points. This will help to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure and use linking words to improve flow. This will make your writing easier to understand.
task achievement
Consider addressing the opposing view more thoroughly to show a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the topic well.
task achievement
The use of examples to support your points is good, particularly your mention of employees helping increase profits.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your views on the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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