There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Despite the fact that listening to

music

Use synonyms

is a much-needed desire in nowadays

societys

Correct your spelling

society

societies

, the importance of its different types is something that

devides

Correct your spelling

divides

opinions. There are various reasons

as to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

music

Use synonyms

is an essential part of people’s lives, with socializing and one’s mental health being the two major ones. One of the most important advantages of

music

Use synonyms

is the possibility of communication and socialization, regardless of people’s

mother-tongue

Correct your spelling

mother tongue

show examples

language. Indeed, communicating with shared universal emotions that can be expressed by the usage of different tunes and tempos is an effective way of socialization.

For instance

Linking Words

, Latin

music

Use synonyms

, with its high-tempo and catchy tunes, can encourage everyone to dance and vibe with the rhythm without being obliged to understand the exact meaning of the lyrics.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Listening to

music

Use synonyms

can alleviate stress levels and cater to the release of endorphins,

also

Linking Words

known as a feel-good hormone, which lifts one’s mood and helps them to face their problems with a better attitude. In terms of the importance of national and international

music

Use synonyms

, it is impossible for one to outweigh the other as they both bring about valuable merits to individuals’ lives

as well as

Linking Words

societies.

Firstly

Linking Words

, Traditional

music

Use synonyms

fosters a sense of patriotism,

Whereas

Linking Words

international

music

Use synonyms

strengthens bonds between individuals from different countries. The latter form is a shared interest among individuals, particularly teenagers,

while

Linking Words

the former might be the preferred form among more seasoned citizens.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in terms of societies, traditional

music

Use synonyms

is usually tailored to address local problems, annotating history between notes and rhythms. These types of

music

Use synonyms

provide a sophisticated platform for expressing complaints about the persecution of a specific group, like farmers. Meanwhile, ubiquitous international

music

Use synonyms

highlights worldwide issues,

such

Linking Words

as racial persecution. In conclusion,

music

Use synonyms

is a unique language through which different societies can communicate, and it is

also

Linking Words

a great way to alleviate extreme emotions. As for the type of

music

Use synonyms

, I believe both traditional and international

music

Use synonyms

have the same gravity in

Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on Thu Oct 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Complete Response

The essay addresses both parts of the question: why we need music and the comparative importance of traditional vs. international music. Try to introduce more specific examples to strengthen arguments, particularly about the impact of traditional music.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Ideas are conveyed clearly, and the arguments are generally well-developed. However, ensuring more clarity and depth in discussing international and traditional music would be helpful.

Relevant Specific Examples

Consider adding specific examples to support the points made about traditional music's role and international music's global influence.

Logical Structure

The essay is well-organized, with subheadings logically progressing from the introduction to the conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear focus, but ensure smooth transitions between different points.

Introduction Conclusion Present

A strong introduction and conclusion provide a good frame for the essay's major arguments. Make the conclusion reflect more on the potential implications of traditional and international music.

Supported Main Points

Main points are generally well-supported, though include more examples and evidence to enhance the supporting arguments provided.

Introduction Conclusion Present

Strong introduction and conclusion which frame up the essay well.

Logical Structure

The logical flow of ideas and clear paragraph structure assist in understanding the argument presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The decline in the amount of time people dedicate to hobbies in contemporary society can be attributed to various factors. This shift has repercussions both at the individual and societal levels.
<4
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that internet platforms, like Facebook or Twitter have a bad sides for the young. Others consider that social media have a benefit sides to bring people together. In my opinion social media has own advantage as well as disadvantages.
7.5
band
Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development
To derive a double benefit from anything is considered a bonus, and this is especially the case when discussing leisure life for children. The idea to fuse both education and entertainment into one activity is a goal of many educators; some would even believe that failure to do this makes the activity pointless. Drawing from examples in Sweden and reviewing games, such as Pokemon, I firmly believe that all activities should have an educational value.
7
band
Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?
Access to nutritious food is essential for maintaining health and well-being. In current times, food usually comes from plantations to consumers over long distances. A group of individuals think that citizens should consume the food that is provided by regional growers as it would be helpful for both the environment and the economy. In my perspective, the disadvantages of this though are greater than the advantages, and the reasons for my viewpoint will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People can be split into two groups. Some tend to have a job in the same place all their life, others prefer to change often.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development

Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.