There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Despite the fact that listening to

music

is a much-needed desire in nowadays

societys

Correct your spelling

society

societies

, the importance of its different types is something that

devides

Correct your spelling

divides

opinions. There are various reasons

as to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

music

is an essential part of people’s lives, with socializing and one’s mental health being the two major ones. One of the most important advantages of

music

is the possibility of communication and socialization, regardless of people’s

mother-tongue

Correct your spelling

mother tongue

show examples

language. Indeed, communicating with shared universal emotions that can be expressed by the usage of different tunes and tempos is an effective way of socialization.

For instance

, Latin

music

, with its high-tempo and catchy tunes, can encourage everyone to dance and vibe with the rhythm without being obliged to understand the exact meaning of the lyrics.

Moreover

, Listening to

music

can alleviate stress levels and cater to the release of endorphins,

also

known as a feel-good hormone, which lifts one’s mood and helps them to face their problems with a better attitude. In terms of the importance of national and international

music

, it is impossible for one to outweigh the other as they both bring about valuable merits to individuals’ lives

as well as

societies.

Firstly

, Traditional

music

fosters a sense of patriotism,

Whereas

international

music

strengthens bonds between individuals from different countries. The latter form is a shared interest among individuals, particularly teenagers,

while

the former might be the preferred form among more seasoned citizens.

Secondly

, in terms of societies, traditional

music

is usually tailored to address local problems, annotating history between notes and rhythms. These types of

music

provide a sophisticated platform for expressing complaints about the persecution of a specific group, like farmers. Meanwhile, ubiquitous international

music

highlights worldwide issues,

such

as racial persecution. In conclusion,

music

is a unique language through which different societies can communicate, and it is

also

a great way to alleviate extreme emotions. As for the type of

music

, I believe both traditional and international

music

have the same gravity in

Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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Complete Response

The essay addresses both parts of the question: why we need music and the comparative importance of traditional vs. international music. Try to introduce more specific examples to strengthen arguments, particularly about the impact of traditional music.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Ideas are conveyed clearly, and the arguments are generally well-developed. However, ensuring more clarity and depth in discussing international and traditional music would be helpful.

Relevant Specific Examples

Consider adding specific examples to support the points made about traditional music's role and international music's global influence.

Logical Structure

The essay is well-organized, with subheadings logically progressing from the introduction to the conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear focus, but ensure smooth transitions between different points.

Introduction Conclusion Present

A strong introduction and conclusion provide a good frame for the essay's major arguments. Make the conclusion reflect more on the potential implications of traditional and international music.

Supported Main Points

Main points are generally well-supported, though include more examples and evidence to enhance the supporting arguments provided.

Introduction Conclusion Present

Strong introduction and conclusion which frame up the essay well.

Logical Structure

The logical flow of ideas and clear paragraph structure assist in understanding the argument presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)

Some claim history is one of the most important school subjects. Others assume that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline is the responsibility of teachers, while other think it is role of parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion.