In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Nowadays, a significant part of modern societies all around the globe has faced obesity and other illnesses which stem from eating too much processed and junk food. In my perspective,
although
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applying more taxes on these kinds of nourishment could reduce the rate of consumption, it is not able to solve the problem completely. Primarily, almost all age brackets are utterly absorbed in fast foods
due to
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their availability and unique tastes;
however
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, it could be regarded as a kind of addiction with severe long-term consequences. In more detail, when folks adapt to ready meals, they lose their interest in healthy and homemade ones.
On the other hand
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, it may take too long to acknowledge the results;
moreover
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, people do not dedicate their time to daily.
As a result
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, all the mentioned factors lead to several sicknesses namely overweight, blood pressure and even depression. So, obviously, it is the government’s mission to stop or at least reduce the rate of eating these foods. Concerning solutions, among various ways which can be done with the aim of keeping citizens healthier, increasing tax only provides authorities with more profit.
This
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approach may, at
first,
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decrease the sales figure; but after a
while
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, Individuals who are highly passionate about these pricy snacks, pay the price.
Furthermore
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, governments possess the ability to address the issue by encouraging societies to eat healthier by reducing the cost of fresh foods and vegetables, like what England is doing currently, developing facilities for doing exercises or even showing the impacts of an unhealthy diet. In conclusion, definitely, unhealthy eating habits pose serious problems in many aspects; though, I assume imposing a higher tax does not have the potential to solve it by itself;
while
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informing the crowd and investing in sports accommodation is helpful.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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task achievement
You have articulated a clear opinion on the issue of whether government taxation on fast food is an effective solution to health problems. However, the argument requires additional development and support through more specific examples and evidence. To improve, make sure to include relevant statistics, studies, or credible references that back up the assertions made in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's coherence could be enhanced by maintaining a consistent flow within and between paragraphs. It's important to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by concrete evidence and examples, and that the transition between paragraphs and ideas is smooth. To achieve this, use linking phrases and topic sentences effectively. For cohesion, ensure that pronouns are used accurately and that referencing words clearly link back to previously mentioned ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overconsumption
  • diet-related illnesses
  • healthcare system
  • disincentive
  • public health
  • safeguard
  • economic burden
  • lower-income populations
  • public education campaigns
  • food labeling
  • health implications
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • nutrition education
  • punitive measures
  • inequity
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • productivity
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