There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
In today's competitive world, the pressure on young people to excel academically is undeniable.
This
has led some to propose eliminating non-academic subjects
like physical education
and cookery from the curriculum to allow students
to focus solely on academics. However
, I strongly disagree with this
perspective for several reasons.
Firstly
, non-academic subjects
play a crucial role in the holistic development of a child. Physical education
, for instance
, not only promotes physical fitness and health but also
teaches valuable life
skills
such
as teamwork, discipline, and sportsmanship. These skills
are essential for success in any field and contribute to a well-rounded personality. Similarly
, cookery classes equip students
with essential life
skills
like food preparation and nutrition, which are important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Secondly
, non-academic subjects
provide a much-needed break from the rigorous academic schedule. Engaging in physical activities or creative pursuits like cooking can help students
relieve stress, improve their mood, and enhance their overall
well-being. This
can lead to increased focus and productivity in their academic studies.
Moreover
, non-academic subjects
can foster a love for learning in students
who may not excel in traditional academic subjects
. By allowing them to explore their interests and talents in areas like sports or arts, schools can create a more inclusive and engaging learning environment for all students
.
From my own experience, I can attest to the value of non-academic subjects
. As a student, I always looked forward to physical education
classes as a way to unwind and de-stress. I also
learned valuable life
skills
like teamwork and perseverance through my participation in sports teams. These experiences have shaped me into a well-rounded individual and have been instrumental in my personal and professional success.
In conclusion, while
academic success is undoubtedly important, it should not come at the expense of a well-rounded education
. Non-academic subjects
like physical education
and cookery are essential for the holistic development of children and should not be removed from the school syllabus. By providing a balanced curriculum that includes both academic and non-academic subjects
, schools can ensure that students
are equipped with the skills
and knowledge they need to succeed in all aspects of life
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task achievement
Consider further elaborating on how non-academic subjects can specifically benefit academic performance. This can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although the essay is well-organized, a few transitional words or phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion on the importance of non-academic subjects with solid arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the main argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is well-supported, adding depth to the argument and making it more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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