There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In today's competitive world, the pressure on young people to excel academically is undeniable.
This
has led some to propose eliminating non-academic
subjects
like physical
education
and cookery from the curriculum to allow
students
to focus solely on academics.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
perspective for several reasons.
Firstly
, non-academic
subjects
play a crucial role in the holistic development of a child. Physical
education
,
for instance
, not only promotes physical fitness and health but
also
teaches valuable
life
skills
such
as teamwork, discipline, and sportsmanship. These
skills
are essential for success in any field and contribute to a well-rounded personality.
Similarly
, cookery classes equip
students
with essential
life
skills
like food preparation and nutrition, which are important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Secondly
, non-academic
subjects
provide a much-needed break from the rigorous academic schedule. Engaging in physical activities or creative pursuits like cooking can help
students
relieve stress, improve their mood, and enhance their
overall
well-being.
This
can lead to increased focus and productivity in their academic studies.
Moreover
, non-academic
subjects
can foster a love for learning in
students
who may not excel in traditional academic
subjects
. By allowing them to explore their interests and talents in areas like sports or arts, schools can create a more inclusive and engaging learning environment for all
students
. From my own experience, I can attest to the value of non-academic
subjects
. As a student, I always looked forward to physical
education
classes as a way to unwind and de-stress. I
also
learned valuable
life
skills
like teamwork and perseverance through my participation in sports teams. These experiences have shaped me into a well-rounded individual and have been instrumental in my personal and professional success. In conclusion,
while
academic success is undoubtedly important, it should not come at the expense of a well-rounded
education
. Non-academic
subjects
like physical
education
and cookery are essential for the holistic development of children and should not be removed from the school syllabus. By providing a balanced curriculum that includes both academic and non-academic
subjects
, schools can ensure that
students
are equipped with the
skills
and knowledge they need to succeed in all aspects of
life
.
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task achievement
Consider further elaborating on how non-academic subjects can specifically benefit academic performance. This can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although the essay is well-organized, a few transitional words or phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion on the importance of non-academic subjects with solid arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the main argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is well-supported, adding depth to the argument and making it more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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