IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Someone who decides to live in a foreign
country
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 where he has to speak in that
country
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's native language may have to deal with some grave problems. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as I believe that communication with locals and finding a decent job would be difficult in
this
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 circumstance. People who have migrated overseas might face language barriers and cultural shocks which are the main social problems.
Firstly
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, the ability to communicate with others is vital to be able to meet emotional and social needs. If immigrants weren't able to interact with natives efficiently, they wouldn't be able to find friends.
Thus
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, they may feel loneliness and homesickness, and
consequently
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, they will end up with depression or nervous breakdown.
Secondly
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, diverse cultures in interpersonal relationships can cause local people to be offended by some individuals' behaviours and those behaviours are considered impoliteness
due to
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 different values.
For example
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, in the UK, when someone gets a service should say thank you or when they have a request, they have to say please
otherwise
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, it is regarded as a rude manner.
Furthermore
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, two dominant potential practical issues
such
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 as finding securing work and housing. Individuals who live in a foreign
country
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 have to struggle with a shortage of jobs which is a practical problem. companies and businesses are usually reluctant to hire foreigners unless those people have proved their fluency in the mother tongue of that
country
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, because employers may worry that
such
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 staff cannot convince customers or understand them.
Also
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, migrants might encounter problems related to accommodation when they want to rent a residence if they don't have enough knowledge in that region's language, they cannot negotiate with the relator to give them a discount or offer their target house. In conclusion, In my opinion, migrating to other countries where speaking in their specific languages is compulsory, would lead individuals to tackle social and practical issues.

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task achievement
While your essay sufficiently addresses the task, ensure you present a more detailed exploration of the given statement, presenting a balanced view where necessary and expanding on your key points with a wider range of relevant specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. The logical structure is clear and your introduction and conclusion are present and well-formed. To further improve, consider varying your linking phrases and ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next to enhance the cohesion of your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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