Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. Business, scholarship, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the sources of funding for national sporting representations often divide opinions. Some folks contended that the authorities should be responsible for supporting teams and individuals who compete on their behalf.
In contrast
, others believe that funding should be acquired from outside governmental bodies, a viewpoint I staunchly agree with.
Subsequently
,
this
essay will elaborate on both views.
To begin
with, athletes compete on behalf of their nations in multiple international events.
Thus
, many people argue that the authority should be involved in taking care of the financial planning of a community which has devoted its time and energy to representing its nation. One clear example is accommodation for all representations and bonuses for all medalists who have competed in the Olympics given by the Indonesian government.
Furthermore
, global prestigious events like the Olympics which require nations to send their best performers to compete against each other will provide an opportunity to prove the quality of a country outside of the political field.
Thus
, it is critical for its people in power to give the best facilities, primarily regarding financial support.
On the other hand
,
due to
the limited budget of government expenditure, the amount of sponsorships granted by other parties like brands and clubs is significantly bigger.
This
will be valuable for top-tier performers
in particular
because they will need more cash to compete and
travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
globally. It is very common for professional badminton players,
for instance
, to secure financial deals with brands selling related gear like Yonex or Li-Ning or other corporations like Blibli marketplace or food and beverage manufacturers.
Consequently
, they will have enough money to join many championships held in various parts of the world by the global federation.
To conclude
, there is an ongoing discourse on financing pipelines for sports teams and individuals of any gender representing their country some people believe that the government should be responsible for supporting the community who have served on behalf of the country,
while
others argue for that. Personally, I believe that outside funding is more likely to give a bigger proportion of money which is sufficient for athletes' various needs.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

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task achievement
Ensure a balance in the development of both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion in order to enhance the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing to improve the logical flow of ideas and make reading more manageable. Using clear topic sentences and corresponding supporting sentences for each paragraph will improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitions to link ideas more effectively. This will improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
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