For many people the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt these days that hard
work
is the predominant reason to be wealthy, which is one of the way
to raise Change to a plural noun
ways
the
income. The question is, do many people Correct article usage
apply
work
extra time to get more money
or not? In this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own opinion.
On one
hand, nowadays, earning Correct article usage
the one
money
is considered crucially important to get a comfortable life. The main reason to support this
claim is that 70% of people work
more than the actual business hours; as a result
, making more money
could help them either
provide the basic needs of life, Correct word choice
apply
such
as food, shelter, and so on, or live without any troubles. To exemplify, if you have extra money
, you will not need to loan money
from a bank or someone.
On the other hand
, some people are working hard to achieve their life goals. Firstly
, being an active employee will attract your boss, thus
you will feel more satisfied and appreciated. Secondly
, passion is demanded in our job. In other words
, if you are in a medical workplace, it is necessary to put in more effort and be patient. For example
, if you are a doctor, you have to be ready for anything at any time; The main cause to withstand this
pressure work
is passion.
In the
nutshell, I acknowledge that Correct article usage
a
money
is essential in our lives and that we should work
hard to earn it. Although
we need to make extra money
, passion is also
mandatory to avoid job burnout.Submitted by dentdent4 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Introduce your topic, develop each idea in separate paragraphs, and end with a summarizing conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, aim for more clarity and distinction between them. Start with a hook in your introduction and end with a punchy conclusion that echoes your thesis without simply repeating it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are supported, but aim to further develop them with more specific examples and arguments. Use real-world statistics, anecdote, or a hypothetical situation that effectively illustrates your point.
Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task, including agreeing or disagreeing with the statement given. Provide a clear opinion and stick to it throughout the essay.
While your response is relevant, strive to provide more comprehensive explanations of your ideas through deeper analysis. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single idea,
Task Achievement
Task Achievement
Enhance your examples by making them more specific and directly related to your argument. Personal examples or universally recognizable situations could be more effective.