For many people the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt these days that hard
work
is the predominant reason to be wealthy, which is one of the Use synonyms
way
to raise Change to a plural noun
ways
the
income. The question is, do many people Correct article usage
apply
work
extra time to get more Use synonyms
money
or not? In Use synonyms
this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own opinion.
On Linking Words
one
hand, nowadays, earning Correct article usage
the one
money
is considered crucially important to get a comfortable life. The main reason to support Use synonyms
this
claim is that 70% of people Linking Words
work
more than the actual business hours; Use synonyms
as a result
, making more Linking Words
money
could help them Use synonyms
either
provide the basic needs of life, Correct word choice
apply
such
as food, shelter, and so on, or live without any troubles. To exemplify, if you have extra Linking Words
money
, you will not need to loan Use synonyms
money
from a bank or someone.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some people are working hard to achieve their life goals. Linking Words
Firstly
, being an active employee will attract your boss, Linking Words
thus
you will feel more satisfied and appreciated. Linking Words
Secondly
, passion is demanded in our job. Linking Words
In other words
, if you are in a medical workplace, it is necessary to put in more effort and be patient. Linking Words
For example
, if you are a doctor, you have to be ready for anything at any time; The main cause to withstand Linking Words
this
pressure Linking Words
work
is passion.
In Use synonyms
the
nutshell, I acknowledge that Correct article usage
a
money
is essential in our lives and that we should Use synonyms
work
hard to earn it. Use synonyms
Although
we need to make extra Linking Words
money
, passion is Use synonyms
also
mandatory to avoid job burnout.Linking Words
Submitted by dentdent4 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, aim for more clarity and distinction between them. Start with a hook in your introduction and end with a punchy conclusion that echoes your thesis without simply repeating it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are supported, but aim to further develop them with more specific examples and arguments. Use real-world statistics, anecdote, or a hypothetical situation that effectively illustrates your point.
Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task, including agreeing or disagreeing with the statement given. Provide a clear opinion and stick to it throughout the essay.
While your response is relevant, strive to provide more comprehensive explanations of your ideas through deeper analysis. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single idea,
Task Achievement
Task Achievement
Enhance your examples by making them more specific and directly related to your argument. Personal examples or universally recognizable situations could be more effective.