The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Over the
last
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few days , it has been believed by some individuals that mobile
phones
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should be banned in some places like smoking ,
however
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, others consider that the use of mobile
phones
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is as antisocial as smoking. I believe that mobile
phones
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play a crucial role in individuals' lives
therefore
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they should not banned. On the one hand , I support that using mobile
phones
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can sometimes be antisocial. The first
reason
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is that mobile
phones
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can impact the work or study of humans .
For example
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, the sound of mobile
phones
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breaks the concentration of students in the library or lesson . The second
reason
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could be that some people tend to spend most of their time using mobile
phones
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and
this
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is a waste of time , even if they escape from real life.
Furthermore
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, overusing mobile
phones
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can seriously influence our health , especially if it can reduce our eyesight.
On the other hand
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, I disagree that mobile
phones
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should be banned because of some reasons. The former
reason
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can be that mobile
phones
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can create opportunities for some people who live far away from family or hometown .
For example
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, you can talk with your family members via video calls or send messages whenever you want and wherever you want. The latter
reason
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can be that mobile
phones
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provide users with useful applications
such
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as maps, chat GPT, google and
such
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.
Additionally
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, using
phones
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is not as bad as smoking.
According to
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scientific research , the negative impact of using mobile
phones
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is less than smoking. In conclusion ,
although
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there are main arguments on both sides of
this
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issue . I firmly believe that using mobile
phones
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is beneficial for humans
according to
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the arguments above

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Task Achievement
Try to clearly state your thesis in the introduction. For example, instead of saying 'they should not be banned,' you could more explicitly outline your stance, explaining why your view is significant in context to the counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs better. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is supported by relevant details. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on the examples you provide. More specific examples that illustrate your points can strengthen your arguments and provide more depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear argument against the banning of mobile phones, which is a relevant perspective on this topic. Your recognition of the benefits of mobile phones, such as connectivity and access to information, adds depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully acknowledged the opposing viewpoint, which demonstrates an awareness of different perspectives on the issue. This is an essential skill in academic writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • antisocial
  • social interactions
  • negative impacts
  • banning
  • regulated
  • completely banned
  • education
  • awareness campaigns
  • responsible
  • mobile phone use
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