In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
In contemporary society, there are many types of
music
such
as classical music
, pop songs, or jazz, but some believe that the least popular song is classical music
in teenagers. Therefore
, in some nations, only a few young people go to classical music
concerts or play classical music
, and many think that the institutions or the parents should encourage youngsters to participate and learn more.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why classical music
receives little interest from young people. There is no denying that in many countries have vanished since the communities are more interested in other types of music
. This
is because classical music
does not have a singing and it has only a melody, causing teenagers maybe feel bored. Moreover
, some schools do not promote classical music
to their students. For example
, there is no learning about music
in the schools because they only focus on academic knowledge.
On the other hand
, in my view, I strongly disagree with the proposition that youngsters should be motivated to attend and study more about classical music
. This
is because we cannot force people to do what they do not want as different individuals have their own choices. Furthermore
, forcing them to learn what they are not interested; for
this
reason, it is not only a bad result but also
a waste of time and effort.
In conclusion, there are few adolescents who participate in classical opera or study it because of the changes in the era and classical is replaced by other genres like jazz or pop. However
, youngsters should not be encouraged to do something that they do not want because it can cause troubles like streets, they can not concentrate on them.Submitted by champperkhu on
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Task Achievement
You need to fully extend and support your ideas with explanations or examples. Your response on why young people might not be attracted to classical music was clear, but you need to provide specific examples to substantiate your points.
Task Achievement
You should develop your arguments more fully. While your opinion was clear, the body paragraphs were under-developed and didn't explore the potential benefits of encouraging youth to engage with classical music. Including a counter-argument and refutation would add depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows some organization, but you should work on making your ideas flow more naturally. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the logical progression of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion which is positive; however, ensure that your conclusion logically summarizes the main points of your argument without introducing new information.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?