Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
are divided as to whether Use synonyms
children
should move out on their own once they reach the age of adulthood, with some suggesting they should stay with their Use synonyms
parents
. Use synonyms
While
there are clear upsides to Linking Words
children
continuing to live with their Use synonyms
parents
past 18, I am in Use synonyms
favor
of encouraging them to leave their Change the spelling
favour
parents
’ house.
Admittedly, Use synonyms
decision
to stay with one’s Add an article
the decision
parents
after becoming an adult has some benefits, one of which is a safer transition to adulthood. Since Use synonyms
children
and Use synonyms
parents
live together, they can share accommodation and household expenses. Use synonyms
This
can be considered a prudent option for young Linking Words
people
in today’s tumultuous economic world where the cost of living including rent is generally rising. Use synonyms
Parents
themselves are Use synonyms
also
at an advantage as they will have caregivers in their older age. Their Linking Words
children
can shoulder the responsibility of tending to their personal and medical needs, which is a common concern for most old Use synonyms
parents
. Use synonyms
This
would not only benefit the individual parent, but Linking Words
also
the society as a whole seeing as it can be seen as a measure to buffer growing senile problems Linking Words
such
Linking Words
the
rising number of Change preposition
as the
the
abandoned elderly.
Despite these arguments, I support the idea of encouraging young Correct article usage
apply
people
to move out on their own upon becoming Use synonyms
an
Correct article usage
apply
adult
. First of all, living independently is a step towards maturity. Having moved out, young adults learn to cope with everyday problems Fix the agreement mistake
adults
such
as paying the bills and managing housework by themselves. Linking Words
This
, in turn, prepares for future family life. Not developing these essential skills before marriage can bring about many hardships later on. Living independently Linking Words
also
means greater space and privacy. As Linking Words
children
grow older, they naturally want more space, not just for new furniture or personal gear, but Use synonyms
also
for socializing. Moving into a place of their own would mean they have more room for inviting friends for social gatherings without disturbing their Linking Words
parents
, which is Use synonyms
also
appreciated by Linking Words
parents
when they are old.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
staying with one’s Linking Words
parents
in adulthood has numerous benefits, I suggest young Use synonyms
people
move out on their own as it prepares them for their future life and provides more personal space and privacy.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views along with your opinion, adhering to the task requirements. However, more distinct and focused examples could enhance the essay's persuasiveness and depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, with clear progression of ideas. Nonetheless, transitions between certain points could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite