Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
are divided as to whether children
should move out on their own once they reach the age of adulthood, with some suggesting they should stay with their parents
. While
there are clear upsides to children
continuing to live with their parents
past 18, I am in favor
of encouraging them to leave their Change the spelling
favour
parents
’ house.
Admittedly, decision
to stay with one’s Add an article
the decision
parents
after becoming an adult has some benefits, one of which is a safer transition to adulthood. Since children
and parents
live together, they can share accommodation and household expenses. This
can be considered a prudent option for young people
in today’s tumultuous economic world where the cost of living including rent is generally rising. Parents
themselves are also
at an advantage as they will have caregivers in their older age. Their children
can shoulder the responsibility of tending to their personal and medical needs, which is a common concern for most old parents
. This
would not only benefit the individual parent, but also
the society as a whole seeing as it can be seen as a measure to buffer growing senile problems such
the
rising number of Change preposition
as the
the
abandoned elderly.
Despite these arguments, I support the idea of encouraging young Correct article usage
apply
people
to move out on their own upon becoming an
Correct article usage
apply
adult
. First of all, living independently is a step towards maturity. Having moved out, young adults learn to cope with everyday problems Fix the agreement mistake
adults
such
as paying the bills and managing housework by themselves. This
, in turn, prepares for future family life. Not developing these essential skills before marriage can bring about many hardships later on. Living independently also
means greater space and privacy. As children
grow older, they naturally want more space, not just for new furniture or personal gear, but also
for socializing. Moving into a place of their own would mean they have more room for inviting friends for social gatherings without disturbing their parents
, which is also
appreciated by parents
when they are old.
In conclusion, while
staying with one’s parents
in adulthood has numerous benefits, I suggest young people
move out on their own as it prepares them for their future life and provides more personal space and privacy.Submitted by ina1_95 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views along with your opinion, adhering to the task requirements. However, more distinct and focused examples could enhance the essay's persuasiveness and depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, with clear progression of ideas. Nonetheless, transitions between certain points could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite