Some cultures value elderly people more, while other cultures value the youth more. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The
culture
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and tradition play a crucial role in society. The elder generation
adhere
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adheres
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some
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to some
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old-fashioned indigenous
culture
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while
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the younger population follow the modern
culture
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and why I support the youngster's modern
culture
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. On the one hand, in
this
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modern era, youngsters prefer to follow the modern
lifestyle
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with technology. They can easily download any
informations
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information
from the internet within a fraction of a second and they can communicate with others through social media
instead
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of face-to-face interaction.
For example
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, adults prefer to use advanced technological devices
so that
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apply
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to get a modern
lifestyle
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as compared to
the
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their
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past lives. Ergo, I strongly agree that the younger population
like
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likes
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to give more importance
in
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to
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the modern
lifestyle
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.
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
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older people adhere
the
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to the
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traditional-based
on
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apply
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culture
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and they do not prefer to alter their
values
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. They still like to do handwork and they prefer to communicate with people directly
instead
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of virtually because they used to live without technological periods.
For instance
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, because numerous elders do not have a smartphone, they do not know how to use it. Because the older generation
do
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does
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not adapt
the
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to the
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modern era, they like to follow the old-fashioned
values
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and elderly folks give more importance
the
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to the
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old-fashioned
values
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.
To conclude
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,
this
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essay I argued that
while
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youngsters
are preferred
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prefer
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to live
in
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apply
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a modern
lifestyle
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,
the
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apply
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senior citizens adhere the traditional
values
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.
However
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, personally, I prefer
to
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that
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the younger generations have more
values
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and they follow the modern
lifestyle
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.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion which are all well-connected. You provided an introduction and conclusion, but the main ideas within the body paragraphs were not well-developed and lacked cohesion between them. Improve the logical flow of ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear focus that is expanded upon.
task achievement
While the essay does attempt to address the task by discussing both views, there is a lack of clear, comprehensive explanations. The response could be improved significantly by providing in-depth reasoning and analysis, and by using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Relevant specific examples were lacking, making the arguments less convincing.
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