Some cultures value elderly people more, while other cultures value the youth more. discuss both views and give your opinion.
The
culture
and tradition play a crucial role in society. The elder generation Use synonyms
adhere
Change the verb form
adheres
some
old-fashioned indigenous Change preposition
to some
culture
Use synonyms
while
the younger population follow the modern Linking Words
culture
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and why I support the youngster's modern Linking Words
culture
.
On the one hand, in Use synonyms
this
modern era, youngsters prefer to follow the modern Linking Words
lifestyle
with technology. They can easily download any Use synonyms
informations
from the internet within a fraction of a second and they can communicate with others through social media Correct your spelling
information
instead
of face-to-face interaction. Linking Words
For example
, adults prefer to use advanced technological devices Linking Words
so that
to get a modern Correct word choice
apply
lifestyle
as compared to Use synonyms
the
past lives. Ergo, I strongly agree that the younger population Change the word
their
like
to give more importance Replace the word
likes
in
the modern Change preposition
to
lifestyle
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
the
older people adhere Correct article usage
apply
the
traditional-based Change preposition
to the
on
Change preposition
apply
culture
and they do not prefer to alter their Use synonyms
values
. They still like to do handwork and they prefer to communicate with people directly Use synonyms
instead
of virtually because they used to live without technological periods. Linking Words
For instance
, because numerous elders do not have a smartphone, they do not know how to use it. Because the older generation Linking Words
do
not adapt Change the verb form
does
the
modern era, they like to follow the old-fashioned Change preposition
to the
values
and elderly folks give more importance Use synonyms
the
old-fashioned Change preposition
to the
values
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
this
essay I argued that Linking Words
while
youngsters Linking Words
are preferred
to live Wrong verb form
prefer
in
a modern Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
, Use synonyms
the
senior citizens adhere the traditional Correct article usage
apply
values
. Use synonyms
However
, personally, I prefer Linking Words
to
the younger generations have more Change preposition
that
values
and they follow the modern Use synonyms
lifestyle
.Use synonyms
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion which are all well-connected. You provided an introduction and conclusion, but the main ideas within the body paragraphs were not well-developed and lacked cohesion between them. Improve the logical flow of ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear focus that is expanded upon.
task achievement
While the essay does attempt to address the task by discussing both views, there is a lack of clear, comprehensive explanations. The response could be improved significantly by providing in-depth reasoning and analysis, and by using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Relevant specific examples were lacking, making the arguments less convincing.