Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human beings are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In recent times, it is usually believed that governments and individuals should pay attention to the diminishing of numerous species,
while
others claim that humans must concentrate on their available issues. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views before giving my opinions.
First and foremost, people should recognize the fact that there
is understandable that we put human priority on the top. As there are many ongoing issues worldwide that need to be addressed. Correct pronoun usage
it
For
instance
poverty and famine are increasing significantly, Add a comma
instance,
these
problems need funds to Correct word choice
and these
tackle
adequately. Wrong verb form
be tackled
Moreover
, all of us are demand
for the development of society that directly Change preposition
in demand
affecteds
Correct your spelling
affects
human’s
livelihood. Some people would argue that Change noun form
human
instead
of paying attention to topics that are unrelated to them, they must put their advantages on top.
On the other hand
, there are some reasons supporting the statement that wildlife issues need to be tackled by countries and each person. Without concentrating on reducing the detrimental problems of wildlife, humans may face dire consequences in the future. It is important to remember that animals play an important role in balancing the ecosystem. In other words
, the vanishing of animal species can lead to adverse consequences such
as narrowing the liveable place
, reducing the source of food, Fix the agreement mistake
places
global
warming,…Correct word choice
and global
For example
, if pigs disappear, humans may cope with the scarcity of food. On account of addressing these detrients
, governments and individuals must cooperate to produce conservation processes.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
detriments
nutrients
while
some people argue that pay
attention Wrong verb form
paying
on
human necessities is more practical and common, I am quite in Change preposition
to
favor
of tackling the decline of Change the spelling
favour
animal’s
life in order to prevent serious problems that could threaten human society.Change noun form
animal
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear logical structure. The use of paragraphs to separate ideas is appropriate, but there needs to be a more distinct progression between them. Make use of cohesive devices like linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively articulated to better bookend the main body of the essay. In the introduction, clearly paraphrase the question and outline the structure of the essay. In the conclusion, summarize the main points succinctly and provide a strong, definitive stance.
task achievement
You need to develop the supporting points with detailed and relevant examples. The use of generic examples, or lack thereof, limits the effectiveness of your arguments. Strive for more depth and specificity in illustrating your points to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task sufficiently but lacks depth in places. Clarify your ideas and ensure that both views are explored fully before giving your opinion. Your personal stance could be supported by stronger arguments to persuade the reader effectively.