Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many individuals believe that the extinction of certain types of vegetation and creatures is the main cause of environmental issues.

On the other hand

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, some say there are greater threats to our natural habitat.

This

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essay agrees with the first opinion because of the recent global warming crisis and the damage made to the natural cycle of life. With the recent advancements and the demand for more natural resources, nature and the life forms belonging to it have been severely damaged.

This

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has resulted in the natural cycle of life being interrupted, causing various issues for animals

Correct word choice

and

show examples

plants.

This

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problem is known as the Butterfly Effect, meaning one small action can result in major changes.

For instance

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, if some kind of plant

that is

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the main source of food for birds is lost because humans destroyed them, it will cause the birds to have trouble finding food, which will lead to them decreasing in number and the animals preying on them will

also

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be in trouble. With

this

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damage coming back at humans in a full circle.

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Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, there are many arguing that there are other major issues to our environmental hardships that are nothing compared to the loss of animals or plants.

For example

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, global warming which results in the rise of sea levels and cities going under water and destroying living conditions has far more casualties than the former. Another example is ocean pollution, with human wastes being dumped into them

due to

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ignorance. But, the root of these problems is the same as the former argument, with

interruption

Correct article usage

the interruption

show examples

of nature's cycle.

To conclude

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, losing plants and creatures

due to

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resources and bigger threats

such

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as global warming are believed to be different problems,

on the contrary

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, they are the same topic with both being the result of damage to the environment.

soroush.nezamiMon Apr 22 2024

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Specific Examples

To further improve, consider expanding on examples from real-life situations or studies that support your arguments, providing more depth to your examples.

Task Response

While your essay presents a clear stance, exploring a broader range of perspectives or counterarguments in more detail could enhance the complexity of your discussion.

Logical Structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within a paragraph cohesively support that main idea. While your essay is structurally sound, further refining this aspect can improve clarity and coherence.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion successfully binds your argument together, showing a good structure throughout.

Logical Structure

You've done well to maintain a logical flow in your essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Balanced Discussion

By addressing both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples, you achieve a balanced and comprehensive response to the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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