IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Air polution is dangerous to humans. What are the main causes of air pollution? What can be done about it?

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Have you ever endured poor outdoor
air
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quality
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? Nowadays,
air
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 pollution is considered to have negative effects on human health. Many different factors
such
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 as personal
cars
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 may be responsible for
this
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 issue.
However
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, some actions
such
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 as improving public
transportation
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 and using sustainable systems can be taken. The main cause of
air
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 pollution is emissions from burning fossil fuels.
Transportation
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 is a major contributor. Owing to the low
quality
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 of busses and subways, individuals prefer to use private
cars
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instead
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 of public vehicles . Just consider Capital cities, where every day an excessive amount of CO2 is emitted from personal
cars
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.
As well as
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 that factories are
also
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 said to take part in polluting
air
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due to
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 consuming oil and coal to supply needed energy. These factors not only will affect the
air
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quality
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 but
also
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 will impact humans
overall
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 health and well-being. The first step towards mitigating
this
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 obstacle is for governments to enhance the
quality
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 of public vehicles. Since public
transportation
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such
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 as buses do not have an appealing
quality
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 and may be considered too old and crowded, people tend to avoid using them. The state must improve their
quality
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 with different strategies.
For instance
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, vehicles’ capacity can be increased and new subway lines could be built. What these actions often lead to is encouraging citizens to use public
transportation
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.
Secondly
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, authorities ought to make industries consume green energy
instead
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 of fossil fuels. Lower taxes can be taken from companies using renewable energies. In conclusion,
Although
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air
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 pollution is caused by myriad factors like the usage of personal
cars
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 and fossil fuels being used by diverse factories, some methods can be introduced to decrease
this
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 problem which should be only taken by authorities.

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Include specific examples and elaborate on how these actions can solve the problem to enhance the completeness and specificity of your response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, maintain a clear organization throughout your essay with appropriate use of paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices but be careful to use them correctly. Develop your main points in each paragraph with clear supporting details.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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