IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Some people believe it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Others think it is important to keep work life completely separate from social life. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.

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These days, there is a widespread disagreement on the issue of extending relations with
co-workers
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 or not.
While
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 some consider
this
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 to be beneficial for employees, others argue that not broadening relationships with
colleagues
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 is more advisable. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both these views and present my personal perspective. First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that spending time with
colleagues
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 outside
work
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 could play a crucial role in fostering their relationships. Having socialized outside
work
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 provides the opportunity and time to talk about preferences and favourites, which makes
co-workers
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 more familiar with each others’ characteristics and personalities, leading to the sustainability of their relationships.
For instance
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, attending a cinema with
colleagues
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 and analysing the movie could help them discover their co-worker’s way of thinking and interests.
This
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 approach,
therefore
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, could pave the way to reach a quick conclusion about continuing their connection with a particular colleague or even straining it.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, I believe that the association with
co-workers
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 out of
work
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 could lead to insurmountable consequences. Workplaces are competitive environments, where employees compete to receive higher salaries
as well as
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 get promotions.
Nonetheless
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, the gatherings out of occupation could make
co-workers
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 more aware of each other’s private issues at
work
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.
For example
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, the emerged intimacy after spending additional time with
co-workers
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 would allow them to ask about the salaries and bonuses they receive at
work
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, which would stimulate their jealousy.
Consequently
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, these feelings might make them manipulate their
colleagues
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’ documents on their personal computers or publish wrong reports about them to underestimate their efficiency and accuracy or taint their personality at
work
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. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the drawbacks of socializing with
colleagues
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 far outweigh its benefits.
Furthermore
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, if occupants in all jobs wish to make quick progress in their professions, they should avoid indiscriminate links.

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task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a clear personal perspective at the end, maintaining focus throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a comprehensive framework to the essay, clearly stating the topic and summarizing the stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
The use of specific examples, like going to the cinema, effectively supports the main points discussed and makes the essay more relatable and interesting.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • professional boundaries
  • team-building activities
  • mental health
  • cohesive work environment
  • personal development
  • workplace relationships
  • informal networking
  • job satisfaction
  • clear boundaries
  • personal well-being
  • common goals
  • burnout prevention
  • sense of belonging
  • achieving balance
  • privacy maintenance
  • career benefits
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