Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Conventional school curriculums place too much importance on
topics
like history
or the arts. Some people disagree with this
. In their opinion, educational establishments should teach courses that will improve the employability of their students. I totally agree with this
view.
History
is important. Undoubtedly, it is not beneficial to have a generation of professionals who know absolutely nothing about their culture or history
. However
, problems arise when traditional subjects take precedence over job-oriented subjects. Learning topics
like history
or literature might make a person more knowledgeable. However
, these topics
do not improve the job worthiness
of a student. Employers need professional, practical degrees. It is not easy to find employment with a degree in Correct your spelling
jobworthiness
history
or the arts. Conversely
, science or maths graduates tend to find jobs easily, as they possess the skills required by the industry.
Understandably, everyone wants to be able to secure a good job upon finishing their studies. When schools give greater importance to practical or vocational courses, young people can start learning the skills required by the industry from a young age. This
will significantly improve their competence. Unemployment figures are increasing rapidly all over the world. If we examine the unemployment situation in any country, it is not hard to see that most of the unemployed are those who lack a useful degree. When schools give increased weight to practical topics
, more students will be encouraged to enrol in professional courses at university, resulting in qualifications which will make them more employable.
To conclude
, history
and literature are important, but maths and science are even more so. The ultimate goal of education is to help young people find employment. Consequently
, I wholeheartedly agree with the argument that educators should focus on teaching the skills that will prepare their graduates for the workplace.Submitted by yassinm1211 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear standpoint throughout but could benefit from a more nuanced approach. The current structure offers a view that seems one-sided and polarizing. Including more balanced arguments or acknowledging the complexity of the issue could improve your score in task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay shows a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. Pay attention to paragraph development; each paragraph should focus on a single idea with coherent supporting sentences.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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