Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing.

Health and well-being should be higher priorities in the education system.
This
essay agrees that teachers should have more focus and emphasize students about the importance of a healthy life.
Firstly
, a healthier student or man can have long-term benefits,
secondly
, unhealthy people will not be able to take a major part in social well-being. Focus on fitness is one of the best ways to build a healthy society which should start from school. A healthy student can take part in research and various types of sport as well by which a country will get a long-term benefit. If we look into South Korea they are more focused and give priority to health they teach what to eat and what to avoid.
However
, maintaining
such
a routine is not always possible but we should start it from an early age. Education should not be always about reading a topic and memorising the thing and getting expertise on it. It should be something by which we can build a better nation. A kid should know which is helpful for his health and the list of harmful items or habits as well. We can mention the country named Mexico as an example most of the Teenagers are drug addicted and the countries are suffering a lot just because of
this
. Though it’s not possible to change
such
things by a night we should start immediately, and we should start it from our school. In conclusion, universities should teach their students the necessary subjects that are applicable to the real world and can benefit the well-being and well-being of each child.
Submitted by bdcracker007 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas within each paragraph are logically ordered. Use cohesive devices appropriately but avoid overuse.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt, be careful to develop ideas fully and provide more detailed examples. Task achievement could be strengthened by presenting an in-depth discussion of why health and wellbeing are important subjects and how specifically schools can incorporate them into the curriculum.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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