IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that employees should work less and relax more.
This
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 essay disagrees that it would have positive labour market consequences and would lead to new breakthroughs.
Firstly
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, it will take more
time
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 to complete the required amount of work;
secondly
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, factories would produce fewer products than usual, so, people might not be able to find essential things in shops.
Overall
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, despite the fact that humans will be more productive, there are some professions that require lengthy research and a lot of effort. Since not all people are geniuses, doing many significant tasks in a short period of
time
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 may not be achievable even for experienced employees.
However
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,
instead
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 of going on vacation for a long
time
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, working hours during the day should be shorter by 2 hours.
For instance
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,
according to
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 research made by Nazarbayev University's professors, to increase the interest and maintain the obsession of working staff, it is preferable for management to provide a little more
time
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 to recover and clear thoughts for workers every working day rather than extending holidays.
Moreover
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, each member of society may have needs, as these needs provide a good life for citizens. Unfortunately, if employees of factories worked less, they would not provide necessary products including clothes, food, and real estate. Eventually, government will set up restrictions, so, humans will be allowed to buy everything in limited quantities.
For example
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, after the Japanese government found out that factories had not achieved their annual standards
due to
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 many natural diseases happening in Japan, politicians tried to allow them to buy only a limited number of products to ensure every family in the country. In conclusion, it is important to stay focused and obsessed with work,
however
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, cutting working hours will lead to chaos in our society and make our lives even harder.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and briefly mentions the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will set a clear roadmap for the reader.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on this point. This will improve the logical flow and clarity of your argumentation.
supported main points
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main ideas. This would strengthen your arguments and add to the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
complete response
The essay provides a clear response to the task by taking a stance on the topic and providing supporting reasons.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents a clear thesis and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes specific examples, such as the example from Nazarbayev University and the situation in Japan, which enhance the discussion of the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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