IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #taxes #contribution #society #responsibilities #members
Opinions differ about individuals’
responsibility
 to do for the
society
 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live in.
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
people
 opine that
for
Fix the infinitive
to for
show examples
 compensate our
responsibility
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 only paying taxes is demanded,
while
 the other group believe that we should do something more
in addition
 to paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
. On the
one
 hand, in some
people
’s opinions only paying
tax
 is sufficient to prove their duty as a part of
society
. When
this
tax
 applies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everything, a huge amount of
money
 will move among the
society
thus
money
 will not
fix
Wrong verb form
be fixed
show examples
 in only
one
 state.
however
, When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
 between
people
,
one
 of the most important
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
right
Replace the word
rights
show examples
 will
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
.
For example
, families who buy a house depend on the value of
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 they should pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
tax
on the contrary
this
money
 will
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
groups of
people
such
 as children without parents and retired
people
.
On the other hand
, it is argued by some
people
 that an individual’s
responsibility
 as a member of
society
 is not compensated by paying
tax
 and
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in a
society
 should do more positive actions to build a good and sustainable community.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 individuals should participate in voting in elections for public bodies. In conclusion ,
while
 the importance of paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
responsibility
 to have a sustainable
society
 is undeniable ,there are
another duty
Fix the agreement mistake
other duties
show examples
such
 as formal and informal participation or
involving
Replace the word
involvement
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 civil life of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 should be done to achieve a stronger community.
Submitted by kikinaeli97 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Stick to a logical structure where each paragraph develops a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing the main points with clear explanations and more detailed examples. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and elaborate on it sufficiently.
task achievement
Your essay should directly address all parts of the task, ensuring a balanced discussion of both views, followed by a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Be cautious of overusing them, as this can affect readability.
task achievement
Your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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