IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Public libraries provide a large collection of books to read. Some people argue that they should also provide other hi-tech facilities like computers, Internet, CDs and DVDs. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#libraries #collection #books #people #facilities #computers #internet #cds #dvds
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Technology has now penetrated almost all segments of life these days. All
facilities
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 and services are now incorporating technology in different intensities.
Users
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 of public libraries should not be excluded from getting the benefits of technology. It is indeed desirable to introduce hi-tech
facilities
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 like computers, internet, CDs and DVDs in our libraries.
First,
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users
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 come to the
library
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 to read
books
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 and to gain knowledge. Many times, it happens that they may not get adequate resources on various subjects. In
such
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 instances, the internet becomes extremely useful.
Users
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 can search the net and can find out detailed information on almost any topic.
Secondly
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, these days, we can see that the world of publication has now changed, and many
books
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 are being converted to CDs and DVDs format.
In addition
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,
books
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, documentaries, and other useful reference materials are now being published in digital form. What is more, handling, maintaining, and storing digital media is way easier than
books
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.
Lastly
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, the life of
such
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 material is often longer than
books
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.
However
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, some people argue that a
library
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 should not offer
such
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 hi-tech
facilities
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 as many
users
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 of libraries are elderly people who are not tech-savvy and
hence
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 cannot use
such
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facilities
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.
Moreover
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, they say that
such
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facilities
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 increase the cost of handling and subscription fees shall thereby increase.
Finally
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, I think, the
library
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's prime function is to offer material for reference and enrichment of knowledge of the people of society, irrespective of the form of materials. If the call of the hour suggests that hi-tech
facilities
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 should be included, a
library
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 ought to provide them to serve the community in a better way.
Submitted by TANULUTHRA95 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to have a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, with each main point developing logically from the previous one. Consider working on more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together.
task achievement
Make sure that your essay directly responds to all parts of the task prompt, and that it does so in a clear and comprehensive manner. Use specific examples to support your points wherever possible. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates your ability to cover the topic thoroughly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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