Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays,
music
is one form of art that can be enjoyed and bring happiness around the world. Some people
say that music
is a good option to connect people
of different cultures
and ages
. I absolutely agree with that statement and will discuss it in this
essay.
To begin
with, music
can be enjoyed with different cultures
and ages
to complete cultural performance
and Fix the agreement mistake
performances
events
. In some cultures
music
also
becomes a musical instrument to support dances and other art performances. For instance
, Jaipong, a traditional dance from Indonesia, uses music
as a tool to accompany the performance. This
is because many people
believe music
backgrounds would engage multi-cultures
and ages
to enjoy the shows. Additionally
, we also
see that music
also
plays important roles in our daily occasions Rephrase
apply
such
as wedding celebrations, birthdays and festive events
to liven up the
Correct article usage
apply
events
. For example
, in the wedding event, organizers would tune music
with love nuances so those who attended whether they are from different ages
and cultures
can enjoy the event.
Other than that, music
has become a cross-promotion culture around the world. Currently, Korea has successfully influenced other nations with K-Pop
Correct your spelling
K-pop
music
. K-Pop
with many singers and idols from Korea has proven that Correct your spelling
K-pop
music
even with languages that we have not heard before can connect people
with different cultures
and ages
. Some K-Pop concerts in Indonesia, for example
, attract many visitors ranging from young and older people
and different ethnicities in Indonesia come to the concert. Moreover
, some of them who are influenced try to find out more about music
and culture in Korea.
To sum up
, music
can connect people
with
various Change preposition
of
ages
and cultures
. It has been proven not only as complementary
Correct article usage
a complementary
tools
for cultural shows and Fix the agreement mistake
tool
events
but also
as cultural
promotion to other countries.Correct article usage
a cultural
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrated a clear structure, and the introduction and conclusion are present and effective. However, work on enhancing the connections between your main points for a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
You addressed the task well with a complete response and clear comprehensive ideas. To improve, try providing more specific examples to support your claims, as the current examples could be elaborated on further for a higher score.
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