Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Nowadays,

music

is one form of art that can be enjoyed and bring happiness around the world. Some

people

say that

music

is a good option to connect

people

of different

cultures

and

ages

. I absolutely agree with that statement and will discuss it in

this

essay.

To begin

with,

music

can be enjoyed with different

cultures

and

ages

to complete cultural

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

and

events

. In some

cultures

music

also

becomes a musical instrument to support dances and other art performances.

For instance

, Jaipong, a traditional dance from Indonesia, uses

music

as a tool to accompany the performance.

This

is because many

people

believe

music

backgrounds would engage multi-

cultures

and

ages

to enjoy the shows.

Additionally

, we

also

see that

music

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

plays important roles in our daily occasions

such

as wedding celebrations, birthdays and festive

events

to liven up

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

events

For example

, in the wedding event, organizers would tune

music

with love nuances so those who attended whether they are from different

ages

and

cultures

can enjoy the event. Other than that,

music

has become a cross-promotion culture around the world. Currently, Korea has successfully influenced other nations with

K-Pop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

show examples

music

K-Pop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

show examples

with many singers and idols from Korea has proven that

music

even with languages that we have not heard before can connect

people

with different

cultures

and

ages

. Some K-Pop concerts in Indonesia,

for example

, attract many visitors ranging from young and older

people

and different ethnicities in Indonesia come to the concert.

Moreover

, some of them who are influenced try to find out more about

music

and culture in Korea.

To sum up

music

can connect

people

with

Change preposition

show examples

various

ages

and

cultures

. It has been proven not only as

complementary

Correct article usage

a complementary

show examples

tools

Fix the agreement mistake

tool

show examples

for cultural shows and

events

but

also

cultural

Correct article usage

a cultural

show examples

promotion to other countries.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Jan 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrated a clear structure, and the introduction and conclusion are present and effective. However, work on enhancing the connections between your main points for a more cohesive argument.

task achievement

You addressed the task well with a complete response and clear comprehensive ideas. To improve, try providing more specific examples to support your claims, as the current examples could be elaborated on further for a higher score.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
There is an ever-increasing use of machinery in the classroom, such as tablets and laptops. It is often argued that this is a positive development, while others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in automation benefits apprentices and teachers.
4.5
band
The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
In today's times, unlike old times, people have become very spontaneous and they think it is the best to not plan anything and go with the flow, especially when it comes to travel or planning a vacation. I do believe that unplanned trips can sometimes lead to best memories, however it can also lead to a lot of problems.
4
band
Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In current decades, it is thought that tertiary education programs should educate students through practical training instead of offering a wealth of theoretical knowledge. From my perspective, I strongly agree that effective combination between these two methods can bring about higher learning efficiency.
5
band
Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?
The enormous growth in the opening gyms over the last decades has not led to a change to a more fit lifestyle, quite the contrary it can be observed that a sedentary style becomes popular. Although serious problems have arisen as a result of this, there are solutions.
6
band
In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development.
In this present world, the number of students of universities that study abroad is constantly on a rise. The argument that nowadays,students apply for a university degree in other countries is an argument that is both advantages and disadvantages by many. The two sides of this argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed before drawing a reasoned conclusion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development.