IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table shows the income and expenditure of Brooklyn Hall, the building used to hire in over the period of three years.

The table shows the income and expenditure of Brooklyn Hall, the building used to hire in over the period of three years.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table illustrates the information in terms of the income and spending of Brooklyn Hall in seven categories over
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 almost all categories have a fluctuating trend in
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 except the trend for Expenditure and profit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
year
Use synonyms
 one, the total income was around 72000
pounds
Use synonyms
 which the expenditure in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 was 63000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, nearly 32000
pounds
Use synonyms
 were the cost of hiring rooms and the amount of money which was spent on the cafe was 3000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a budget ranging from 20000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 22000
pounds
Use synonyms
 for funding of council tower and other bodies, respectively. As is shown from the table, in
years
Use synonyms
 two and
three
Use synonyms
, these amounts increased steadily compared to
year
Use synonyms
 one except for funding tower and other bodies which remained almost constant. the total money for the cafe was almost doubled in
year
Use synonyms
three
Use synonyms
 at 6000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the total income increased by 6000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and it was 78000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in
year
Use synonyms
 3.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 77000
pounds
Use synonyms
 was the total expenditure for Brooklyn Hall
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the total profit which
this
Linking Words
 building gained in these
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 gradually decreased by 8000
pounds
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 and it was just 1000
pounds
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, years, year, pounds with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: