IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015
#show #government #expenditure
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These
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts compare the local government expenditure in
two
Use synonyms
 years : 2010 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the
two
Use synonyms
 charts that the
rate
Use synonyms
 of pensions was the same level in both
two
Use synonyms
 years about 19%.
According to
Linking Words
 what was shown, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of education in 2010 was the highest trend at about 24% ,
while
Linking Words
 other expenditures had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
at about
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 1% . What is more, the health care
rate
Use synonyms
 was higher than the pensions
rate
Use synonyms
 around about 2%.
While
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of defence in 2010 was 17% , it slightly decreased to 14% in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of welfare in 2010 was 8% and it rapidly increased to 13% in 2015.
Also
Linking Words
 , the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of interest on borrowing was 5% in 2010 and it was claimed to be 10% in 2015. What is more, the rates of transport,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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culture and leisure in 2015 were the same
rate
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
 , the culture and leisure
rate
Use synonyms
 in 2010 was 2% and the
rate
Use synonyms
 of transport was 3% .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , many government expenditures had obviously changed during 5 years like interest on borrowing, welfare and defence .
Submitted by almeem on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, rate, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • allocation
  • budget
  • fiscal
  • increased/decreased spending
  • percentage
  • funding
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • education
  • healthcare
  • recreation
  • welfare
  • economic conditions
  • fiscal policy
  • trend
  • analysis
  • comparative
  • significant
  • allocate
  • reallocate
  • subsidize
  • cutbacks
  • deficit
  • surplus
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