Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
Recently, adults in their twenties put less priority on
marriage
and move to their thirties life goals. In my opinion, this
is definitely a positive trend for parents
and their future children
.
Being married and having children
is a full-time life job, which contains many challenges. People
must be well-prepared to achieve a successful marriage
and a stable family. Commonly, people
in their thirties have a higher level of emotional maturity and financial stability than those twenties. These two factors are important because they have a big impact on children
's development. Parents
who are mature enough will be more patient and constantly ensure their children
grow within the best environment. However
, this
condition rarely happens with a bad financial condition. For instance
, poor families can not facilitate their kids to pursue their dreams and needs, which often results in a
Correct article usage
apply
quarrel
between the moms and dads. As an impact, the Fix the agreement mistake
quarrels
children
who have to witness that condition will experience trauma and receive less support from their parents
.
Other people
might argue for a late marriage
because of human reproduction. Many doctors say the prime time of our reproduction systems is within the twenties,and a late marriage
could be a danger for the babies. This
is surely a concern for some people
. However
, recent technologies are advanced enough to ensure the mother and children
are both safe during pregnancy. Some ways could be applied by parents
, such
as paying attention to their food diet, taking multivitamins, and doing less heavy activity during pregnancy for the mothers. Moreover
, they must be routinely checked by the doctor which only can happen with enough budget already prepared. Therefore
, financial readiness plays an enormous part in the process.
In conclusion, l think marriage
in the thirties is a positive trend for the public because of the emotional and financial stability that is
most likely to be reached by humans in these particular age ranges. Both of those aspects will have a good impact on the marriage
, especially the kids' growth.Submitted by evaagustine11 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a variety of sentence structures to improve readability. Some sentences are quite long and could benefit from being broken down into shorter ones.
task achievement
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'thirties life goals' and 'Commonly, people in their thirties'. Practice using more natural and fluid language.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and supports it with relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay's main argument.