Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

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Recently, adults in their twenties put less priority on
marriage
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and move to their thirties life goals. In my opinion,
this
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is definitely a positive trend for
parents
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and their future
children
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. Being married and having
children
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is a full-time life job, which contains many challenges.
People
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must be well-prepared to achieve a successful
marriage
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and a stable family. Commonly,
people
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in their thirties have a higher level of emotional maturity and financial stability than those twenties. These two factors are important because they have a big impact on
children
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's development.
Parents
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who are mature enough will be more patient and constantly ensure their
children
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grow within the best environment.
However
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,
this
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condition rarely happens with a bad financial condition.
For instance
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, poor families can not facilitate their kids to pursue their dreams and needs, which often results in
a
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apply
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quarrel
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quarrels
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between the moms and dads. As an impact, the
children
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who have to witness that condition will experience trauma and receive less support from their
parents
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. Other
people
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might argue for a late
marriage
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because of human reproduction. Many doctors say the prime time of our reproduction systems is within the twenties,and a late
marriage
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could be a danger for the babies.
This
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is surely a concern for some
people
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.
However
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, recent technologies are advanced enough to ensure the mother and
children
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are both safe during pregnancy. Some ways could be applied by
parents
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,
such
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as paying attention to their food diet, taking multivitamins, and doing less heavy activity during pregnancy for the mothers.
Moreover
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, they must be routinely checked by the doctor which only can happen with enough budget already prepared.
Therefore
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, financial readiness plays an enormous part in the process. In conclusion, l think
marriage
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in the thirties is a positive trend for the public because of the emotional and financial stability
that is
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most likely to be reached by humans in these particular age ranges. Both of those aspects will have a good impact on the
marriage
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, especially the kids' growth.
Submitted by evaagustine11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a variety of sentence structures to improve readability. Some sentences are quite long and could benefit from being broken down into shorter ones.
task achievement
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'thirties life goals' and 'Commonly, people in their thirties'. Practice using more natural and fluid language.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and supports it with relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay's main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • emotional maturity
  • life experience
  • career development
  • professional achievements
  • job satisfaction
  • health risks
  • quality of parenting
  • societal changes
  • cultural expectations
  • gender roles
  • educational attainment
  • secure environment
  • life experience
  • shifting trends
  • medical advice
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