IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the most important aim for science should be impove people's lives. To what extent do you agree and disagree with the statement?

#aim #science #impove #people #lives
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Scientific developments are occurring at a great rate but some of them do not seem to be of help to
people
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.In fact,sometimes scientific innovations are regretted by those who invented them.
This
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 essay will argue that science should never harm
people
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 but
scientists
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 should aim to
further
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 their understanding as much as to improve
people
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's
lives
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. On one hand,there is a strong argument that the public good should be the top priority for
scientists
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.They are the ones who have the potential to make discoveries and invent things that can change the world. Electricity,modern medicine,telecommunications and the internet are just some of the scientific innovations that have changed
lives
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 for the better.
For example
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,without the invention of the electric light bulb,
people
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 might still be living in darkness and ignorance.
For example
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,the invention of vaccines has allowed
people
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 to live healthier
lives
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 without
fear
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the fear
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 of pandemics that they used to have.
On the other hand
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,sometimes
scientists
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 do research just in the hope of adding to their knowledge.
The
Correct article usage
Scientists
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scientists
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 may not know how their findings will be used and whether they will improve
people
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's
lives
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 until they have completed their experiments,
although
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 they should make absolutely sure that their experiments will not cause harm.The scientist Nobel invented dynamite to help with mining,not knowing that it would one day be used in weapons,and the scientist who discovered the life- saving drug penicillin did so quite by chance.
Overall
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,it seems that science should improve the
lives
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 of
people
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 and that ought to be one of its aims.It is equally important for
scientists
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,
however
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, that knowledge and discovery are aims in themselves.
Scientists
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 are sometimes unaware of how their scientific breakthroughs will be used until their work is done.
Submitted by yuxinyun_2023 on

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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure that you provide a balanced argument with adequate support for each view. Present examples that are directly tied to the central argument to increase the relevancy of your support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve Coherence and Cohesion by better organizing your ideas. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and make sure your ideas flow logically from one to another. Utilize a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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