Advertisement of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
The ongoing debate surrounding the significant impact of advertising snacks and toys to
children
and their parents has led to the suggestion that these ads should be prohibited. This
essay concurs with this
viewpoint due to
the challenges it poses in terms of children
's self-control and the potential for fostering unhealthy competition among peers.
One compelling reason to advocate for the ban on such
advertisements is rooted in the difficulty children
face in controlling their desires. Marketing campaigns possess the know-how to market products persuasively to children
, who are easily swayed. Consequently
, when children
encounter an advertisement showcasing a new flavorful snack or an enticing toy, their insistence on acquiring these items can become relentless, regardless of the associated costs. They persist until they attain what they desire, often without full parental authority. A recent study highlights the adverse effects of unsupervised purchases on children
's budgetary control as they grow older.
Additionally
, it is essential to recognize that these advertisements can cultivate unhealthy competition among friends. Children
are naturally inclined to vie for the latest products in the market to enhance their popularity in school. However
, financial disparities among pupils may exacerbate this
situation, resulting not only in instances of bullying but also
in feelings of jealousy. Research indicates that 35% of schoolchildren experience bullying due to
their inability to afford the most recently advertised products, leading to perceptions of relative poverty.
In conclusion, this
essay firmly advocates for the prohibition of advertisements targeting children
. The challenges posed by these ads, including difficulties in parental control and the potential for fostering unhealthy competition among peers, underscore the need for regulatory measures to protect the well-being of children
.Submitted by dana-sh on
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task achievement
Your response effectively addresses the topic, adequately covering the reasons for advocating a ban on advertisements targeted at children. To improve, make sure that your main points are fully developed and more distinct examples are given to support your claims. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with precise examples or data.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays good logical structure and coherence with clear introduction and conclusion. Be cautious of overly complex sentences that might hinder readability and clarity. To improve cohesion, work on smoother transitions between points and more varied connective phrases. This could better guide the reader through your argument and enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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