Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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University life cultivates professional and advanced academic paths, leading graduates to their specific realm of the job market. Some

students

intend to focus on their own major,

while

others choose to learn more subjects. There are different opinions and contemplations on

this

topic;

in other words

, there is no direct evidence or approval to judge which side is better.

This

essay will discuss both views and weigh the advantages before viewing my opinion. On the

one

hand, some

students

argue that concentrating on

one

field of study can foster a knowledge foundation and develop their chosen

subject

, which their dedication is needed so as to accomplish academic achievements. To illustrate, a student who specializes in programming languages and puts his all to learning a variety of fundamental elements believes that devoting himself to mastering a specific skill can lead to success.

Moreover

, in the job market, the employer often seeks expertise and skills from the outstanding performance of the applicants/staff.

Therefore

, it is essential to have an advanced specialized domain knowledge of the focused

subject

On the other hand

, some debate the opposite. Speaking of those who explore diverse subjects compete with

one

who only has a chosen field,

one

study indicates that if people seek out interdisciplinary approaches or develop different interests, they may engage more in critical thinking, problem-solving, and recognized skills.

For instance

, a student who majors in literature but with the combination profession of philosophy has enriched their knowledge background, which may develop philosophic literature and delve into different dimensions of articles.

Hence

subject

diversification broadens the horizons and restructures

students

' creativity and imagination. In conclusion, it is evident that both views have their pros and preferences, either focused on

one

subject

or an interdisciplinary approach.

Consequently

, in my opinion, schools may reinforce the major of the chosen

subject

but

also

allow

students

to select optional subjects for those who seek out well-rounded development.

Submitted by aa0963178783 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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Introduction

Your introduction presents the topic well, but could have more clearly outlined the purpose of the essay in relation to the task question.

Task Response

Ensure a clear distinction between your opinion and the discussion of the two views. This adds clarity and directly addresses the task question.

Conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively, but make sure to clearly state and support your own opinion to meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother for better readability.

Examples

Support your main points with a variety of detailed examples. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates task achievement more effectively.

Sentence Structure

Your sentences are overly complex at times, which affects the coherence of the essay. Strive for clarity over complexity in sentence structure.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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