Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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University life cultivates professional and advanced academic paths, leading graduates to their specific realm of the job market. Some
students
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intend to focus on their own major,
while
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others choose to learn more subjects. There are different opinions and contemplations on
this
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topic;
in other words
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, there is no direct evidence or approval to judge which side is better.
This
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essay will discuss both views and weigh the advantages before viewing my opinion. On the
one
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hand, some
students
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argue that concentrating on
one
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field of study can foster a knowledge foundation and develop their chosen
subject
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, which their dedication is needed so as to accomplish academic achievements. To illustrate, a student who specializes in programming languages and puts his all to learning a variety of fundamental elements believes that devoting himself to mastering a specific skill can lead to success.
Moreover
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, in the job market, the employer often seeks expertise and skills from the outstanding performance of the applicants/staff.
Therefore
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, it is essential to have an advanced specialized domain knowledge of the focused
subject
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.
On the other hand
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, some debate the opposite. Speaking of those who explore diverse subjects compete with
one
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who only has a chosen field,
one
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study indicates that if people seek out interdisciplinary approaches or develop different interests, they may engage more in critical thinking, problem-solving, and recognized skills.
For instance
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, a student who majors in literature but with the combination profession of philosophy has enriched their knowledge background, which may develop philosophic literature and delve into different dimensions of articles.
Hence
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,
subject
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diversification broadens the horizons and restructures
students
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' creativity and imagination. In conclusion, it is evident that both views have their pros and preferences, either focused on
one
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subject
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or an interdisciplinary approach.
Consequently
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, in my opinion, schools may reinforce the major of the chosen
subject
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but
also
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allow
students
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to select optional subjects for those who seek out well-rounded development.
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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Introduction
Your introduction presents the topic well, but could have more clearly outlined the purpose of the essay in relation to the task question.
Task Response
Ensure a clear distinction between your opinion and the discussion of the two views. This adds clarity and directly addresses the task question.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay effectively, but make sure to clearly state and support your own opinion to meet the requirements of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother for better readability.
Examples
Support your main points with a variety of detailed examples. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates task achievement more effectively.
Sentence Structure
Your sentences are overly complex at times, which affects the coherence of the essay. Strive for clarity over complexity in sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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