In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

present each resident

own

Change the verb form

owns

show examples

smartphone

this

Correct word choice

and this

show examples

device is more and more popular all over the world.

Smartphone

Add an article

The smartphone

A smartphone

show examples

inveted

Correct your spelling

invented

to help take

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

Change preposition

of it

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

conveniently.

This

essay will demonstrate its benefits in human life activities and its disadvantages.

Smartphone

plays an important role in

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Therefore

, there are many branches of

smartphone

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

new

Correct word choice

and new

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devices with a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

smart qualities to make

convenient

Correct pronoun usage

it convenient

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

consumer

using

Change the form of the verb

use

show examples

. Smartphones are more modern than mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

sufting

Correct your spelling

using

the internet,

consumer

Fix the agreement mistake

consumers

show examples

can get

call

Change the form of the verb

calls

show examples

without mobile cost or call video,

update

Correct word choice

and update

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news fastly.

Moreover

smartphone's

Correct article usage

the smartphone's

show examples

auto skill is very

benifical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

, users can take photos without camera devices. Every

quanilities

Correct your spelling

quantities

qualities

devices

Fix the agreement mistake

device

show examples

are in a

smartphone

, you can calculate, get messages, calls,

suft

Correct your spelling

use

web

Correct article usage

the web

show examples

, play games and more only with a

smartphone

. In the past,

people

must to use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

public

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

to get a call with cost or take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

photo

Fix the agreement mistake

photos

show examples

also

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

camrera

Correct your spelling

camera

and

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

news through reading

newpapers

Correct your spelling

newspapers

but now smartphones can do these things.

Besides

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

a smartphone

show examples

also

exists

Verb problem

have

show examples

disadvantages.

People

spend most of

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using smartphones,

this

thing

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other work.

Smartphone

has negative ways, toxic

website

Fix the agreement mistake

websites

show examples

do harm to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

especial

Change the word

especially

show examples

the young.

For example

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

passionate

Add a missing verb

are passionate

show examples

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

and use them too much,

these

Correct word choice

and these

show examples

kids forget

studying

Change the verb form

to study

show examples

This

problem causes

Verb problem

us to

show examples

forget

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human activities

Correct your spelling

show examples

we do not take distance

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

them.

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion,

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

a smartphone

show examples

Correct article usage

a mordern

show examples

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

invention to help

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

more convenient but it

also

has negative if

people

do not have an effective plan to use it.

Sun Jan 07 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the introduction explicitly states whether you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not, as this sets the direction for your essay.

Task Achievement

Develop both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) with clear and comprehensive ideas that are further supported by specific examples or evidence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize the essay into clear paragraphs - one for introduction, at least two for the main body (one for advantages and one for disadvantages), and one for the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use cohesive devices accurately and effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, which will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.

Coherence & Cohesion

Conclude the essay by summarizing the main points and giving a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant access
real-time updates
portable offices
emergency services
social media
navigation
cybersecurity
screen time
digital detox
environmental footprint

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city while others think that life is countryside is more suitable for them. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Task 2: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.