Some people think that it should be made mandatory for parents to attend formal education on parenting. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that formal
education
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on parenting should be made mandatory for
parents
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to attend. I strongly agree with
this
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statement.
Due to
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the history of bad parenting, with modern analysis of parenting and treatment of children in different age ranges,
parents
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need the help of professionals. In current years, we have discovered new ways to discipline and educate kids. Children, of different ages, are a handful and
parents
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, especially new ones, need help on how to take care of and handle the situation when their kids get rowdy. With parenting
education
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, they can get the knowledge and help from a professional, the class can help them get ready for parenting, how to treat certain situations and solve a problem swiftly.
However
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, entering a class about parenting wouldn't help you with every obstacle that may come your way during the actual process of being a parent. The
education
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on parenting needs to be informative on how to handle stressful situations on your own terms
instead
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of blindly following the given instructions, the reason being that some of the tactics given may not work for certain
parents
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and work with certain kids. In conclusion, it should be a requirement for
parents
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to attend formal parenting
education
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, but the class need to include not only informative tactics and examples on parenting but
also
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required to have instructions on how to handle a problem on your own.

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Content Development
You should work on developing your ideas further and providing more detailed, unique examples to support your argument. This would significantly improve your score in the 'Relevant Specific Examples' criterion.
Language & Structure
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This can enhance your score in the 'Logical Structure' and 'Supported Main Points' criteria within Coherence and Cohesion.
Task Response
Make sure to address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong position. This will help you score higher in the 'Complete Response' criterion under Task Achievement.
Conclusion Integration
Work on integrating your conclusion more effectively with your essay's body. Restate your main points and clearly articulate your viewpoint as a summary. This will assure a better score in 'Introduction Conclusion Present' under Coherence and Cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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