The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and

2013.
The bar chart illustrates the number of international
sales
of four electronic
games
products over a 6-year period from 2000 to 2006.
Overall
, it can be seen that an upward trend is observed in all
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
of
games
, except for console
games
. Where handheld
games
recorded the highest
sales
over the period.
According to
the graph, in 2000, the figures for mobile and online
games
displayed zero
sales
,
while
the
sales
of console and handle
games
were nearly 6 and 12
billion
dollars. The number of mobile phone
games
stayed
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
at zero in the first two years and
then
it increased steadily from about 2
billion
in 2002 to it peaked at over 6
billion
in 2006. A similar growth in the number of online
games
was
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
in 2001, at around 1
billion
and hit a vertex
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
8
billion
in the final year.
Furthermore
, the figure for console
games
presented a minimal fall from nearly 6 to less than 3
billion
between 2000 and 2006.
Nonetheless
, there was a slight climb in the figure of handheld
games
from roughly 12
billion
in 2000 to 14
billion
in 2002.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
console
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
sales
revealed
Verb problem
were
show examples
almost constant at generally 15
billion
between 2002 and 2005 and
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
rose sharply to 18
billion
in 2006.
Submitted by pumin.t on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, billion with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Mobile phone brands
  • Market share
  • Trends
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
  • Consumer preferences
  • Demographics
  • Market dominance
  • Brand loyalty
  • Comparative analysis
  • Sales figures
  • Data interpretation
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